This is more shouting in the wind rather than anything else. I crawled back into the closet sometime during the pandemic, not that I was in any way far out, but relatively happy. But recently I’ve been struggling and feeling the choice I made to remain married was an error. Fair to say things are a mess
Boatman.....Hey, it's nice to have you back! It's been a while but Empty Closets is still here to be helpful in any way that we can. So sorry that things are in a mess. If you feel comfortable sharing a bit with us, perhaps we can give you some ideas or suggestions. Anyway, we're glad you're here! .....David
Boatman....Well it's no longer 2020, so it's a good time to open that closet door and take a few steps! You don't have to hit the road running, but a few cautious steps would be okay. Let us know how we can help...it's what we do! .....David
Sometimes I feel like I'm on the road now - or at least the closet door is open and I've stepped through the mirror into a foreign land where I speak only a few words. I'm still in my marriage, but have begun to venture out and meet other men. And what an adventure it's turning out to be. Odd though, I'm becoming a little reticent. There's plenty on offer, it would seem, and I'm really, really flattered by all of the positive feedback - I guess because my wife just isn't interested in sex, or paying complements, I just assumed after all the years, that I wasn't attractive. No so, it seems. Stepping out, or sailing out (boatman) isn't an option for me - financialy I'd be out in the cold, and seeing the street dwellers living in their tents in Edinburgh yesterday, I get very scared of that option. There is a family feud going on and I need to support my wife. But - the feeling is still strong. I keep up my chats online on that infamous network and I visit gay bars and cafes when I'm in town. If I was free and had the potential to be financially free I'd go like a shot. I've had enough of this restricted life that I lead, but, Boatman, would I be a free man? Would I be a lonely man? I have only my own experience to go on, as do you. I'm almost hoping that I'll get caught, and the decision will be taken out of my hands. I'm very careful, so unless I deliberately slip up that's unlikely. This probably isn't helpful! So I guess it comes down to: can you go, financially? Do you want to be free? We'r all restrained whatever we do; in the closet or out of it. Would a visit to the gay sauna occasionally do it for you? There's so much pressure to exit the closet and 'be free', that we often take it as read that that is the right thing to do. Things are a mess here too, but only in my head. Maybe just being objective about, do a SWOT analysis, and go with the result.
