I want to be a women but cannot stop doing men chores

What he said ^^^^

I've done a lot of "men's work" in my flat, and I've done a lot at my new house too. I was up on the roof in summer sorting and grading slates, cutting lats, nailing them in place, nailing slates, cutting lead with an angle #######. I've done some plastering (walls, not ceilings) and am decent at that now, not professional standard but good enough for all the places that don't need to be perfect. Lots of digging, wheelbarrowing, clearing rubble. I did two days in a mini digger clearing the garden and I rebuilt a collapsed section of stone garden wall. I will say that a lot of this work is hard graft and the average man will take to it a lot easier than the average woman, but it's not really men's work. I can only carry one plasterboard at a time, they are 4ft x 8ft and 25kg. My fiancee carries two, or three if he's showing off. But the way I see it, it's just work that needs to be done and if you're capable of doing it then you should do it. It's not about gender.

 

Haha, that was meant to say anglegrinder. Forgot the G app was a banned word.

 

Well, you have two choices - either do it y'self. Or get a workman in.

That decision is dependent on a) whether you have any ability in doing DIY and b) whether you have the money to pay someone to do it.

If you don't have a) but do have b) then pay a workman, I'd say.

Being a single trans woman is in many ways just the same as being cis single. Sometimes it involves hard work and graft. It's not all sitting around and looking pretty.

I do empathise. I'm useless at DIY, myself. There are all sorts of odd jobs around this house that I need to get around to doing...

Beth x

 

I understand where you're coming from. My Mother went through a nasty divorce when I was younger. My mother, sister, and I moved to an older house that requires an enormous amount of upkeep and work. Many family friends and strangers pressured and placed expectations on me to be the man of the house now and said it was my responsibility to fix everything. The pressure made me sick with anxiety and I hated being forced into some gender role box. Later I realized and told them, that we are a family team unit and my mother and sister don't need a man to tell them what to do. We all do what we got to do regardless of gender. We cook clean, build, and fix things the best we can together.

I know you would prefer to do less stereotypical mens work, (So would I lol) . However I don't think it takes away from or diminishes the fact that you're a woman. Just look at it as doing what you got to do. In fact many men including myself find it very attractive if a woman can build things and know how to use tools. Maybe the next house you move to can be relatively maintenance free, or if there is work to be done, you can redesign and remodel it to be more feminine.

 

Last I checked, women do tons of work around the house.

 

To clarify, women do plenty of physical manually laborious work around the house. Shatter the old stereotypes.

 

Sometimes we fall into the idea of having to perfectly fit the gender roles. Sometimes we fall into this to convince others that we are actually transgender. Sometimes we fall into it to convince ourselves that we are "transgender enough". At the end of the day, these are just things that need to be done. Society has assigned the masculine or feminine part.

 

I can't speak of gender identity... but, as for gender expression, I think that the one who do the chores is the real you, and chores themselves are not related to men/women, but as you want to express and fulfill your true self!