Anyone who regularly reads this will know that I have astoundingly bad luck with women. It's strange because every other area of my life is pretty good actually. I can't change the way they act, only the way I act. My natural disposition is be open, (but discreet) friendly and romantic. It doesn't work. So should I go back in the closet? Should I stay the same? Should I pretend to be cold and indecisive like they are? I wish I was cold but that is not what I am. Any advice is appreciated.
Hey I am really sorry you are having bad luck. Honestly I know it’s hard but I’d try not to change too much, I am sure it can feel hopeless at times but you never know when you might meet the right one and it would be a shame if you changed your lovely ways when you meet her. It only takes one good one to make you forget the rest.
When I first tried to come out it went horribly wrong and I got gay bashed a lot. So like you, my initial experiences were not too positive, but you don't need to give up. Just take a break or take a step back from dating. Recover and reorient yourself. In the meantime you could focus on a different objective. Like finding an IRL LGBT group to join, joining an LGBT social app, or make a couple gay friends. If you do treat these girls cold and indecisively exactly how they treat you. Then odds are they will actually like it. Then you'll have to keep up this cold rugged farce that is counter intuitive to your friendly/romantic disposition. Basically you'll be living a lie. So these cold girls are not for you and already phased themselves out of your dating pool. There is a nice girl somewhere out there for you. It might take awhile but that is how it goes sometimes. Funny story: when I first started to date as a teenager, quite a few girls came around and flirted with me, while also treating me like garbage. It offended me and I wanted them to go away, so I treated them like garbage right back and gave them a taste of their own medicine. Newsflash, they loved it and I received so much unwanted attention that I had to beat them off with a stick. Later I learned they thought of me as some kind of bad-boy and the easiest way to make them go away was just to be nice and kind.
Thanks for the advice and the stories. Silverhalo, I have wondered about the very subject you brought up. How will I feel when I meet the right one? Where will all my disappointment and tears go? Can she really make me forget the rest? It seems impossible.
For sure. When you meet the right one it will feel like home. You will just feel comfortable. If I said to you, you will spend the next 6 months dating and you will have some more disappointments but I promise at the end you will come out with a long term relationship you’d go for it right? I sadly can’t promise that but if you knew you were guaranteed a prize it wouldn’t feel so bad right.
Ugh, this is so true. If I think back to how I was at school & college, the bad boys had so much allure. And I know far too many girls who've had guys treat them badly and they always seem to go back for more, or get with other guys who are similar.
