Disgust with genitals

Hey, I don’t think attraction has to specifically be about genitals at all. Sex itself involves genitals but for me attraction is not to the genitals but the person. I think if you are attracted sexually and feel like you’d want to have sex then the likelihood is that you are not asexual. I think I’d say try not to stress about it and see what happens when you meet someone and the opportunity arises.

 

Well, yes, because, er, one makes love to a person, not genitals by themselves. I mean, who would look at a picture of a penis or vulva on its own, unless it's in a medical textbook?

And surely if you fall in love with someone you fall in love with all of them, genitals n' all?

Beth x

 

Exactly what I was thinking. Genitals are a bit ick to me as well, but I like the act... Despite being abused as a child.

Fully agree with you too. The person is what counts, not what genitals they have.

 

When you're with a partner and turned on a lot of that disgust thing just goes out the window. I don't know if its just me but after becoming sexually active, a lot of things went from being something I'd never have thought I'd enjoy to being something of a favourite activity.

 

Not really. That you’re bisexual just means that you are attracted to men me women, as in people.
And your aversion to genitalia probably doesn’t mean that you’re asexual, because the sexual attraction is still there. There’s probably another reason for your feelings, which, as JT has mentioned, might as well change… But even if they don’t, it still doesn’t have to preclude you from enjoying sex.
Yes, having sex involves genitalia, but it’s by for not the only thing involved in the process.

I’ve heard it’s a genre on its own in pornography, so there might be an audience for that outside medical students and professionals.

Hopefully one day this will be widely considered just common sense.

 

I agree.

 

I was in denial for years and was always repulsed by having oral sex with women, but I could easily fantasize about men. I love looking at and touching and pleasuring mens parts, but as others say, I have to be attracted to the person. There are plenty of men's genitals just looking at the picture I don't find attractive. I can look at women's genitals but if I start to think about trying to have sex I get disgusted.

 

Aesthetically though, there is a lot of variation within each gender too. Like faces, some bits (whether male or female) are much better to look at than others.

 

And personal preference makes a big difference too. Some like a big veiny monster, others prefer something less threatening looking

 

ha your posts make me laugh

 

Thanks, I'll take that as a compliment

I consider it a bad night if I don't get at least one 'oh my God, Jess' from my mates.

 

oh definitely in a good way

 

Yes. I don't find all males parts attractive, but the ones I do I find very attractive when I think about it sexually, where with women, I can look but if I start to think about sex i get disgusted. Before I accepted that I was gay I just thought 'everyone' felt like this.

 

After I first got involved with another girl but before I’d gone ‘all the way’, I started watching lesbian porn just to see a bit more about what it would be like. I can remember feeling not much at all. At the beginning when there was nudity or an actress was undressing, even if they had an amazing body it just did nothing for me. But seeing the kissing, foreplay, interaction etc was a turn on, but then any close up action shots kinda turned me off again. It would have been the first few times I ever got a look at what an aroused woman looks like. Now on the rare occasion I watch anything like that I aren’t put off because it’s normal to me. Men definitely don’t have this problem because they get a good view of their own bits their whole lives so will be a lot more accustomed to what it looks like.

Interestingly my first boyfriend (at 16) wouldn’t go down on me, but was perfectly happy to get a BJ. When I asked him if he would, he said he thought it was gross. And there was nothing to be grossed out about either, I was always freshly showered and shaved. It wouldn’t surprise me if in years to come I’ll find out he’s into guys.

 

That was my first thought!
I remember so hard trying to like it, then when I looked at my girlfriend giving a bj I realized I was jealous. She mentioned she was trying out some techniques she read about, and I felt an instant desire to read up on it. Something I never did with oral with women (I tried to even read about it but was disinterested).
When I finally gave my first bj, it felt so natural, I didn't care about my parts being turned on and I didn't want to stop! (though it was a little tiring)

 

I don't really like gay porn, and I hear a lot of lesbian porn is made for guys.

 

Its definitely less effort with a woman. My first time was all positive even though I was worried about it being unpleasant. But it took me a long time to enjoy giving BJs. I never disliked the idea of it, but it was effort and I didn't like the ending. Now its something I look forward to but for my boyfriend its mostly just foreplay, he must think its a waste of a boner if I don't get anything from it. He usually takes some persuading to let me finish him like that, like he thinks I'm just doing it for him and not because its what I want.

 

You can really tell a lot of it is made for men and the girls at not into it. That's really offputting for me.