What are you thinking?

I think the problem for many is we use terms like that... (downward spiral... at rock bottom... in the gutter... down a slippery slope... it's going to be like climbing a mountain... You'll have to dig yourself out of that hole). The truth is, though, it's not like that at all is it? There's no gravity involved, after all! It's far more like a DIY project than a slope to scale. You simply follow the instructions and put it together piece-by-piece, eventually it becomes whole.

That is what I learned at therapy, anyway. The more problems you tackle, the more you can breathe and the less you have weighing down on you, the easier it becomes to tackle the bigger problems effecting you.

 

Oh yes, flexibility has never been an issue. I was 7 when I started gymnastics, and we did hours of conditioning every week. It’d be dangerous for the survival of our species if men were as flexible as me

My running endurance is solid, I’ve done a few 15k runs and around here that involves a lot of incline/declines. It helps to be light. My boyfriend did it with me and he didn’t find it as easy, even though he used to play on a rugby team, but he is twice my weight. I bet he is still lower bodyfat though. We both work pretty hard keeping fit, I am stronger than a lot of women but damn, testosterone is such a performance booster.

 

GIMP had me driven bananas until a friend from another part of my province suggested Affinity. I took it on a 10 day trial and got it the next day, I loved it so much. My computer doesn't like PSE either but I fight through it. I have an old W7 refurbished with W10. I have a newer, better system given to me by a former teacher of mine that can handle the version of PSE I have now, but it needs more RAM before I go anywhere near setting it up.

Ugh, OneNote is a pain in the rear end. I can't use it. I have a lot more room to work with MS Word and I prefer it anyway. I'd rather write with pen and paper than use OneNote, that's how much I hate it. I like how you have things set up. My house is tiny, so my office area is in the kitchen, on the table. It's really the only spot we have for it right now. My monitor is tall so we have a "shelf" on top of it holding things for office supplies like pens and so forth, and one of my speakers is on top of it. Spouse has a low profile/flat system, and my monitor is on top of that while his is by my tower. It's crazy but it works for us.

I'm proud of my pal. She's a smart person, and although rough around the edges, was always cheering me on and telling me how much she appreciated my warped sense of humor, and the fact I didn't judge people on their looks or anything other than their personalities. Not many people liked her, and vice versa, but we get along great. I do miss her, a lot, and if she comes back, I'll gladly give her an update on how things are going here.

Oh I agree about the social media deliberately making us angry and whatnot. So if I get too overwhelmed or exhausted with the BS on FB or other spots, I disappear offline for a few hours, and just either read or play games on my phone. Dealing with the bigots and the scammers in FB is exhausting a lot of the time, so I need to get off and veg out for a few hours daily. I'll be writing more when the school year starts next week, so that'll be my "offline time" unless I'm brainstorming with another author or two at one of my publishers. Sometimes just talking to someone - getting it out - is a huge help with writer's block or if you can't quite get over that darn hump, you know?

Thanks. There are some days that I would love to rip the nerves out of my face, head, ears and throat, but overall, I'm able to function most of the time. I'm grateful for that much. I am not on any pills that help the nerves either. I had way too many side effects from them, from suicidal thoughts after our old cat died to not being able to think or even form a coherent sentence. I am getting nerve blocks for the occipital neuralgia and hope to get them for the trigeminal neuralgia, if the one pain clinic here takes me on that is. I hope they do. It's awful walking around a store and feeling a zap so hard in the face, I yelp and sometimes fall to the knees. People look and wonder what's going on... Half of them never even heard of TN. My dentist hadn't until I became a patient. It's not as common or well known about as people may think, despite the community doing their best to create awareness.

You have an amazing day, and amazing rest of the week! I've started my fall cleaning a bit early so I've been off the computer more, and it's helping a lot with my moods. I'm also waiting to hear from a publisher about any work they have for me, same with a friend who has commissioned me to do a cover for her.

And I hear thunder. It's been one heck of a wild, wet, and loud summer.

School starts next week in my province!

 

Good point! Never really looked at it like this. Thinking about it, there seems to exist a strong association with upwards being “good” and downwards being “bad” in many languages, even when gravity isn’t involved directly or at all. I.e. “high point of life” versus “going downhill”.
But also there seems to be an implication that achieving what is “good” (and hence “up”) requires more effort than going “down”, just as it is with moving vertically, due to gravity.
P.S. Sometimes it feels like doing a DIY project while blindfolded, parts mixed up and some of them being outright… But perhaps that’s half of the fun?

You’re right about testosterone, hence why some athletes (and many bodybuilders regardless of biological sex) resort to using is a supplement (doping?).

Flexibility training was the bane of my existence, when parents enrolled me in taekwondo courses when I was a kid How you even do gymnastics, it’s beyond my comprehension - but it’s amazing, really

 

Yes, exactly. It is brainwashed into us that feeling of struggling up against the odds. Instead of formulating a practical plan (a mind map is a good way to do this) to achieve our goals, we're facing a mountain, we feel like we're about to enter the ring with Mike Tyson! ... It's all a bit silly, really, isn't it? Despite how much we've evolved, as a species, we're still more like our neolithic ancestors, beating our chests and going to war with our problems, rather than like Einstein, solving them pragmatically.

 

Even just naturally it is so potent, the male body responds far better to strength training. I always have a laugh to myself when 18 year old boys join the gym I go to and they watch me on the bench press and try to lift what I lift on their first day. I had to help one lad get the bar back onto the rack after he got himself stuck. But 3 months of casual training later they're lifting 50% more than I ever have after 4 years of consistent work, and they probably do it on a diet of McDonalds. If they keep it up a year they'll be stronger than the female world record holder in my weight class. I did kickboxing for a couple of years too and it is unreal trying to hold the pads for a man, even one a similar size to me. I would love to experience what it feels like to be so strong. Being able to do a backflip is cool but far less useful in the real world.

 

Perhaps depends on what you want to do
But yes, I understand what you’re talking about.

By the way, albeit the evidence for this seems to be anecdotal, I’ve heard that McDonalds food can be a viable alternative to BCAAs and all that. So, maybe someone at the gym just might actually be on such a diet

 

Mike Tyson famously said, “everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face” and in the military there is a saying “no plan survives contact with enemy”. That is not to say planning is useless or unnecessary, only that without resolve to get it done and taking action, no amount of planning will help one getting anywhere.

 

One of my favourite photo editing tools is somethng called the "National Geographic Script" for Gimp. It's very highly reccomended if you haven't already installed it. It brings nearly all photos to life in stunning fashion. Sometimes, I will copy and paste the bottom, original layer and move it to the top, then toggle with the opacity to reduce the effect a little. A good thing, then, is to save it and then open it in Elements and use the Saturated Film Effect filter. These two simple steps make most photos look like magazine photos!

I know, OneNote is so slow and cumbersome! (And has a ghastly colour scheme.) I want to love it, but can't. The same with Evernote, though that is a little classier. I don't even use a computer for notes, anymore, really. If I need a webpage I'll just print it as a PDF and keep it that way.

I can't even really remember why I left Facebook, now. I think it kept changing from what I remember. It seemed like every month or so they messed with the format of it--it used to be nice, when it was just a simple timeline... It started to become much laggier and became more hassle to change the privacy settings too, and I was just so sick of seeing people's Mafia Wars and Farmville etc. updates! I used to spend hours just trawling through all that and thought: "What is the point??!" As I say, I've never looked back. Even now, over a decade later, whenever I see that blue logo a part of me shudders inside lol!

I'm very sorry for your constant suffering. It must be awful, having to deal with that. My back once went badly in a supermarket, so I do understand a little. Having to appear normal to everyone going about their business, whilst you're in agony. It's not good! ... I used to suffer bad depression my whole adult life (ever since I started falling for girls, really). It was often suicidal, in thinking at least. Since I came out to myself, though, I've not really felt depressed at all.

Good luck with the weather! It's been quite wet over here, too, but not very warm. Just an average summer with lots of rain.

 

That's true enough, too. I think with Tyson, though, his best years were easily his earlier ones, when he had a master trainer in his corner. He seemed to get worse and worse with poor trainers and advice. I do still like watching his old fights from time to time on YT. I suppose it reminds me of better days lol when I used to sit up till 3 am as a schoolboy to watch him fight live!

 

I don't even have GIMP installed on this computer. I didn't bother to do it once I got into Affinity more, and decided against it when the original HDD in this system fried itself earlier this spring. (Thank heavens for Windows 8 on CD, and a knowledge of DOS to get Win 10 back!). I hope to get the full version of PS when things improve financially here, probably after I get my cover art business registered with the province, so I can class it as a business expense on the taxes. It's not cheap but according to my boss at the one publisher, it's ultra sweet. Although she has a lot of the bells and whistles. I may go with the simplest version of it to keep clutter out of the RAM, you know?

Okay that plug in sounds awesome! I'm going to have to look for it when I jump up to Affinity 2 - I'm using 1 at the moment.

I haven't even tried Evernote. I'm so used to using Word or Google Docs for things that the thought of using anything else makes my brain hurt.

I blocked all of those annoying games, not because of the updates but because the people I talk to kept sending me requests for them. I was so sick of it I just started blocking it and then the invites slowly trickled down to nothing. Farmville, UGH. Blech. I'm not playing much on the computer outside of Bingo these days. It's mostly on my phone if I don't have my nose in a book while I'm not working.

It's not easy, but like I told a friend of mine yesterday, I keep plodding along, one foot in front of the other. It's all I can do. I'm not one to lay in bed due to pain unless it's a migraine so even when the nerves are flaring, I'm up and about, doing my regular routine. Even if I just do the dishes or feed the cat on the bad days, I'm still out of bed and alert.

I do have depression... And I'm still processing being bisexual myself. I kept it repressed for eons due to my mom and so many others here. Now that I've accepted it, I'm feeling a lot better about myself and more.

Thanks! It's cooler here - about 15 C - today but sunny. I love it. This is walking weather. It's not too hot, not too cold, low humidity and pretty outside. My kind of weather.

Have a fantastic weekend. It's Labour Day in North America on Monday and Hubby is off all weekend. I love it.

 

M

I recall my grandfather (an avid fan of boxing) saying something similar about Tysons best days being his early ones.
Now thinking about, it’s interesting how such an individual(-istic?) sport requires quite some teamwork to achieve success

 

I make full use of my flexibility and I suppose I do like showing off when the mood strikes. But I was always competitive with the boys growing up, I need to accept those days are over now.

Eating is another thing men can do well, my dad, brother & boyfriend all manage to put away a lot of food. I think because I am quite small built I get full quickly and struggle to have the appetite I need to get my calories. Before my boyfriend made some suggestions I would always have salad, lean meat, and fill up on carbs. I'd get full quickly and probably didn't get enough protein to make the most of the training I was doing. I really like veg & salads but had to cut back on them and have larger portions of meat with more fat, I also have double cream in coffee. I aim for about 2,500 calories a day now, I am 5ft 5" and usually hover around 8 stone / 51kg. Before I started training I was about 47-48kg.

 

Quite the reverse here - a large appetite and have to work hard to keep weight adequate. Getting stronger would probably not be a problem, but I’m mostly doing cardio and caliesthetics… Having too much mass (muscle or otherwise) hurts running endurance.
I’d gladly exchange traits if that would be possible and you’d want to

Maybe it’s in the human nature to want things that we don’t have, regardless of of what we do have

 

Caliesthetics is impressive, even normal pullups are so hard to do. I'd love to be able to do a human flag. There is a young lad who trains on the park near me and he is incredible to watch. I'd like to see what he looks like with no shirt on but he's always in something baggy, even in summer. A hard looking male body is a big head turner for me!

Weight training for legs/glutes/core really helped my running. I don't run as much as I used to and even though I'm carrying close to 10% more bodyweight it has become easier. My times improved, it felt like I could sustain a fast pace for longer. I love the effect its had on my shape too, I don't think anyone has called me too skinny for a long time now. I have long-ish legs, never carried much weight on my legs or bum and my hips are probably narrower than most so even with a really slim waist I didn't have that nice hour glass shape. But putting a little bit of muscle on my thighs, bum and upper back has made me feel much happier about my shape. And training chest helped too, I was always small up top but now have a more rounded look. If I'm wearing a dress I look more like a woman now and less like a mid-teens girl.

 

I don't know what you mean? The National Geographic script is for GIMP, whereas the Saturated Film Effect is one of Photoshop Elements built-in "Edits". Neither are in Affinity. Here are a couple of befores and afters for the NG Script I just did in Gimp. IMO it's well worth having GIMP just for this (especially as both the software and script are free).






I don't really play games on my PC or phone much anymore, I treated myself to a Switch about a year ago. I don't use it that often, but it's good to be able to spend quality time playing some more interesting and stimulating games when I do (rather than just compulsivley at my PC). The Switch seems to have the lions share on these quirky titles, which suits me fine. I'm not bothered about graphics quality, it's gameplay that makes a game good IMO.

I felt so much better when I accepted myself. It's like all of a sudden your whole life suddenly makes perfect sense and you stop fighting yourself and constantly tying yourself in knots. I don't mind being different, I'm actually happy to be this way and wouldn't want to be "normal" now.

Well, speaking of the weather it's suddenly gotten warm here again. Like you say, though, the chores never end do they?

(Hope you all enjoy your long weekend!)

 

Yeah, he quite literally used to walk into the ring, beat someone unconsious and walk back out again! It's strange to me, an anomoly, that I used to watch something so hyper masculine. I was also into Stallone movies and metal as a teen... Perhaps I was trying to overcompensate in some way? I don't like boxing, now, though I still enjoy his fights ... I used to like watching football, too, but can't stand it now. I do like watching US sports, Tennis and Athletics. What sports do you like to watch? (If any?) And did your tastes change from when you were younger too?

 

There's a really beautiful exercise system taught by a man called Lam Kam Cheun. It's a variation on Qi Gung and he did a tv series in the '90s on Channel 4. The show is called "Stand Still, Be Fit" and the accompanying book is "The Way of Energy". Both are available free online (on YT and on the Internet Archive respectively.) You sound like you're mega into fitness, and it is a fairly intense workout (standing still!) so I thought I'd mention it.

 

A human flag is most impressive to see being done and probably feels awesome of you can do something like that, just for the hell of it.
Core training seems to be quite a bit underrated among runners and most one I’ve knew would rather eat broken glass than lift any weights
Also, riding a fixed gear bike can do wonders for leg muscles… You’ll probably never need another leg day at a gym, especially if you ride in a hilly area

Happy to hear that you’re looking more the way you want to It’s always nice to look into the mirror and enjoy what you see there.