Hey everyone, 40 year bi man here, and I just wanted a safe space to share about my weekend. I went to Chicago on a quick work trip and found the courage to go to a gay bar near my hotel. To say that the guy I spent the evening chatting and flirting with was dreamy is an understatement Next to me at the bar was this really cute, tall, fit guy about 10 years younger than me, dressed so well in a perfectly fitted white dress shirt and equally fitting slacks, his clothes snugging at every muscle on his body. He had a warm smile and was so charming and flirty, but in a way that was sweet, and with every smile, every touch on my arm, and every movement he made to get closer to me, I just felt a rush of excitement and wanted every piece of him. My god, that man was sexy I wish I could tell you that we ended up back at my hotel or his place that night, but it didn't happen, and that's ok, because for most of my life, being bi and feeling this attraction towards men has caused me a lot of confusion, shame, and repression. This weekend, though, I didn't feel that; instead, I felt excited, comfortable, joyful, and attraction to him without all of that shame around it. I want to focus in on that joy and lean into it, and just being able to get on here and gush about the cute guy I flirted with at the bar feels like a big step.
Mike.....I am happy for you! Everything doesn't need to end up with a hook up and there are times when it feels good just to meet someone new and make a connection. I was at a gay bar about a year ago and met a group of three guys who where a touring musical group. I am also a musician. They are called the Ember Trio...you can google them. They perform all over the world. We had a wonderful couple of hours just sharing our musical experiences...I was a high school music teacher for 41 years and also do live performances. You never know who you will meet and meeting someone new in a gay bar where you already have a connection can be great. Of course your night could have ended differently...but that would have been a different story... .....David
This story is yet another example of a feel good story about same sex attraction. It doesn’t always have to filled with anxiety and stress. Sometimes it just feels good to be with your own kind.
I like listening to or reading stories about these kinds of experiences. Especially when there's a lot of detail that puts the reader in the picture. No need to feel shame or guilt. When I was a late teen, I remember someone older saying, "If it feels good, do it." I haven't heard that saying in a while but most of the time it would make sense.
Thank you all for responding! David, that was a great story of yours too, I'll def look them up! I just have felt so much shame around my sexuality that I wanted to share this really positive experience and I'm glad others could relate as well.
It is, and you should be very proud of yourself for taking that kind of step. No need to rush it with whatever steps you choice to take next when it comes to embracing your attraction towards men. Slow and steady wins the race after all. Major congratulations you got this.
Thank you for sharing your story with us glad you had a fun time and got that same sex attraction experence !
It's great for you you're starting to care what YOU feel. Most anxiety, I think, stems from school bullying and is so deeply ingrained it's really sad it effects us so long afterwards. I hope you next time get to go for the gusto a little more, perhaps if that is just getting someone's email or phone number and taking it from there when you're ready to. Good luck to you.
We have been so conditioned by heteronormative brain washing that same sex attraction is some how abnormal that once we experience it we are conflicted. As humans we find that it provides us with great pleasure yet our programming tries to sabotage those feelings with internalized homophobia. Once we break that chain we are free to enjoy homosexuality without guilt, fear, reservations or recriminations to our character.
Hi Mike! That’s a great story you told and I’m happy to hear that everything went well and you felt great! I hope someday to be able to do that myself. I finally came out to myself a few years ago as Bi. I have dreams and thoughts about meeting a special guy someday, even if we were just friends. I think I would feel more open about sexuality and be able to share my feelings in my heart more. I can’t wait to have a story similar to yours someday! Happy for you!
That sounds very nice and glad you were able to do it! Hopefully another trip coming again or another way to meet a guy. Good luck!
So very cool, Mike! I think much of our journey is internal - and the fantasy aspect of it, along with your actually taking some action to visit the gay bar and to engage with this young man is quite sexy!!
