Imho there's a bold line between gay jokes and homophobia that's "just a joke". It's hit or miss for me.
I find most of them funny. Some are a little gross, but most of them are pretty good. Here's a lighthearted one: Did you hear about the 2 gay guys who got caught for breaking into a house on the south side of town? They didn't take anything, but they did rearrange the furniture.
I agree. It's like racist or sexist jokes: just mentioning race or sex/gender is not the same thing as degrading/malicious words. That said, there is a danger of internalizing homophobia when you are surrounded by intolerant people. Also, it is easier to make fun of a subgroup that you're not part of, such as cisgender people making fun of transpeople or so-called masculine gays making fun of drag queens.
All true but as this relates to cisgender LGB people, many don't always play nice and there's no way to control that. The male and female members of the community sometimes slam each other. Of the gay men I know, most prefer the company of straight femmes to lesbians, even though they will still have some lesbian friends and will support women owned businesses. It's that they speak of their straight women friends in glowing terms. If considering heterosexual men and women, I could see the men making more of these jokes. I have a hunch that some of them have been made uncomfortable by interest shown by other men and it's their way of dealing with that stress and lashing out. If in entertainment, they may have even been asked to the casting couch. Since women can usually get closer to each other than men, they may not make as many negative comments about other women showing an interest in them. I've heard them shrug this off much better. I don't care what people do, but there are certain factions within the LGBT groups that I may not fully understand. I'll admit that. It would be a complex ongoing lesson that's always changing. I would have to say that, as what would be considered a cisgender person, I can interact with super masculine gay men and drag queens as need be, but I think they could only hold my interest for so long before any kind of meaningful bonding could take place. We usually do better with people who are more like ourselves. It's not just drag queens that are made fun of. I've heard gay and bi guys refer to the non-hetero bodybuilder who could be in a magazine as a "muscle puss." As far as gay jokes go, it comes down to how malicious they are. Everyone is free to draw their own line in the sand.
Jokes can often be a way to engage in lighthearted fun and amusement, and sharing a sense of humour helps bring people together, but it's crucial to recognise how easy it is to cross a line when joking about protected characteristics like sexuality + gender and gender identity, race or religion. We need to be careful not to say something that may be seen as crude or offensive. It's important to remember that even if a joke is not intended to be hurtful, it can still perpetuate stereotypes, marginalise certain groups and create an environment that is unwelcoming or unsafe for individuals who identify with certain characteristics - including (but not limited to) sexual orientation. We always need to approach humour with empathy and consider the perspective of those on the receiving end. Before sharing a joke, take a moment to reflect on the potential impact of what you are about to share. How will it make the recipient feel? Will is cause offence? Remember, there are plenty of ways to have fun and engage in humour that doesn't target someone's identity and on a forum like this, where inclusion and safety is a priority, it's probably best to explore those alternative ways.
I wouldn't call this a joke that has gone around. There is a good number of those "what are the 3 or 4 most common words for" whatever group jokes. My friend and I joked that the 6 most common words for G/B men might be "What Do You Like To Do?"
