How do I come out to my wife?

Bi husband here, 68 years old. I have been married for 45 years. I finally worked up the nerve to tell my wife last week. In the end I had no choice, I could no longer hide who I am from her. The good news is that she has been supportive. She is concerned about what this means for our relationship, and whether my coming out might result in a greater inclination into giving in to experimentation. (I have never been with anyone other than my wife since we were married 45 years ago.)

 

I have assured her that I have remained monogamously committed to her, and that I will remain so. I expect things will be alright, but it will take some time. I have lived with this all my life. It is new to her.

 

For your remember, it will lift a burden from your soul.

 

Yes it will be a great relief! But expect it to be an emotional rollercoaster..! My wife has been extremely supportive but the first few days neither of us knew what it would mean for our relationship - I wasn't sure at that time if I was gay or bi or what it would mean for our future. We ended up experimenting with threesomes and a careful open relationship - none of which either of us would have predicted 23 years ago!
I think, if the relationship is strong it can only bring you closer together to know more about each other and to talk about these things that usually go unsaid..

 

I felt like I needed to tell my wife first and am glad I did. Was it hard to do? Yep! Damn hard and also the ‘hardest’. Once that’s done, the rest is so much easier. Friends no big deal. I say that but I still haven’t told my kids yet…. They are all straight and I’ll have do it, but not sure how. (That’s me procrastinating btw). If were not being honest about who we are what does that say about us? I hate these questions that keep popping up in my mind a soon as I make an excuse. Nike had the right idea. “Just do it!”

 

Oh I forgot - My marriage is still intact and there seems to be no threat to it that I can see.

 

Oh that’s brilliant news. You’re very brave telling your wife, it’s the hardest thing to do, so many emotions involved. Sending you lots of positive vibes.

 

Try IT! Not only gay sex is fabulous but relationship with man feels do good. It's a whole other better level if you're in a relationship with someone who is sexually compatible. Living together, sharing breakfast, dinner and bed together is simply fascinating.

 

A relationship will never be strong if it is sexually incompatible. All everyday things including dinners, shopping, holidays taste better when there is desire and chemistry. It's a completely different level of life. Sexual orientation matters not only in bed but in all other areas of the relationship. Have you thought about starting a family with a man? Threesomes and open relationships are another dummy like a fake marriage with a woman.

 

All your posts are aggressive, opinionated and lack empathy so I won't spend much time replying! But no, I haven't considered leaving my wife, she's my best friend and we have the best sex life of any partner I've had and I don't think there could be two more compatible people than us!
And no, our relationship isn't just about sex - we've been together 23 years with 4 kids and a grandchild.
We just decided that our relationship doesn't have to preclude having sex with other people - it's a fun life experience that we don't see why we shouldn't enjoy.
From the tone of your posts I'm assuming you don't believe bisexual men exist? I'm not going to try to change your mind but maybe you could try to be less abrasive with how you communicate?

 

I'm talking about my experiences and how a relationship that isn't sexually compatible doesn't make me happy. If yours is happy then enjoy. This forum is there to help people to come out and live in harmony with themselves. I'm not talking about bisexuals, but about gays like me.