My parents are divorced, so they live in different places and I’d like to come out to them in the same moment (not the exact same day but it will disturb me if there’s a week or two between my two coming out). So in this case, it is better to make a letter, for exemple before going a weekend with my father, I leave a lettre in my mother’s house and when I go home I leave another one in my father’s house ? Or should I tell them in person ? Also, my mother kind of assume I am bisexual after reading accidentally my diary last summer (I had explain that in another thread) but I still want to tell her I’m not but I don’t know if she’ll understand that I was confuse back then. I think both of my parents will accept me, but maybe my father will be disappointed because he likes children and often talks about how things are gonna be when he’ll be a grandfather. I don’t know what to do. Does anyone has advice ? Sorry if I made mistakes, English isn’t my first language.
I think the letters are exelent idea. It takes that pressure off coming out in person and also handles your anxiety of trying to do it as close together as you can. Ican understand that. I think your dad's disappointment would be short lived, if you do want kids in the future, there are options. There are some letters available to use as a base template if you need inspiration in the wording. It takes time, some confusion and eventually acceptance how you see yourself, and for you to get there is an achievement in my view.
Good advice and solid thoughts above. Something else you might consider. Obviously your parents love you and want the best for you. Their idea of the best may not align exactly with yours. We often do things that upset our parents. That’s life. They are often disappointed by our choices. That’s life. In the end when they know your happy, they’re glad you made the choices you did, because they love you. In the end they love us because, they love us. Everything you’ve said above says your parents love you. If you can weather the storm (if there even is one), your good.
It’s been almost a month since I posted this and I did nothing… I tried to write letters. Multiple time. But they all sounded fake. So, I thought I could just talk. In person. But I can’t. I know my parents love me more than anything but I still can’t talk to them. Maybe I just need more time.
The good thing is you have all the time you need. If you know you need to tell them, you will when you’re ready and the time is right. Is there a rush really?
I think you are a bit hard on your self and I think you are doing great in assessing how you are feeling. I think this is normal and as a parent of kids that came out, to feel that hesitation and uncertainty. (myself only coming out 6 months ago) Its a big thing hanging over you. My kids came out and said it in a casual conversation about lasagna at dinner time. They got a high 5 from me and that was that. Maybe, just maybe ripping of the plaster may be a solution, when you are ready, and don't be over critical about the letters you are writing. Sometimes a single line says it all.
Ok so it’s been a while and I have finally written letters that sound good. Not great but it’s better than what I had wrote before and I’m going to use them this weekend.
I leave the letter for my mother in the bathroom before leaving. She texted me because she just read it. She’s happy for me and my girlfriend and she told me she’s here for me. I’m really relieved right now.
I leave the letter for my father in his house. He had 4 hours to read it. He hasn't text me. I hope I'll have an answer. I'm kind of stressed about that.
Ok, I had the answer of my father now ! He’s ok with the being in a relationship with a girl and everything is fine !
