Coming out at 45?

Starting over is not so bad believe me. It allows us to begin to live honestly and freely. Being free to Embracing your homosexuality opens doors of happiness and contentment that have closed for so long. Certainly it’s not easy to start over but necessary to become the man you really are. Your still a father, a pastor, a supportive ex husband along with being an openly proud gay man. Who knows even a husband in your future, the only way to find out is to go through that door.

 

Hi Tommy:

Thank you for being brave enough to find a therapist and open to sharing your life in this forum. It takes guts. Many of us have have lived your kind of pain, but only you can choose what is best for you and your family. You undoubtedly fear losing your kids, your friends, and experiencing social shame. You fear tearing apart a seemingly stable life you've spent decades creating. But it seems you are struggling. Will staying the course help you be the best father and friend? Are you thriving? Is your mental anguish tied to the emotional pain of not living out your authentic life? Do you fear coming out as an "old" 45 year old? Well, I can attest as a 60 year old, it does not get easier. I regret not dealing with this in my 40s. Yes, there are risks. Yes, it can be painful. You may have to give up parts of a comfortable life you have built identifying as a straight person. But your happiness matters. Your mental well being matters. At 45 you are still young and there are people that can love you as you are. Remember there are many of us older folks who have been down this road, survived, and in many cases found happiness. I pray for you, your family, and all who love you. Hang in there. Be kind to yourself.