Hello everyone. I always knew I wasnt straight or had a liking towards girls but I wasnt ever sure if those are merely crushes or am I actually bi- or lesbian. In my teens I fell in love with a girl and we were in a relationship. after that I explored more and was with many women. Im Muslim and my family has no acceptance for lgbt so I couldnt think of ever coming out. I came out to few friends that I trusted. Unfortunately somethings happened and I was emotionally blackmailed by my family to get married. Because of our religion and culture they got me married. I told the guy that I cant marry him or did I feel any vibe with him but he didnt listen. I never told him I liked him. I thought he will back off but he made me marry him. Now its been few months and when he comes close to me I feel like puking. I cant be close to him and I have no feelings for my husband. Now im stuck. I cant come out to him cause he will tell my family. I cant come out to my family they will disown me. I tried telling I cant have sex so that he may understand. But he refuses to understand and tries everyday, he is a nice guy but I cant do this. He doesnt give up on me even though we havent been physically together. I tried to physically be with him but I couldnt. It just made me angry and frustrated. WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW? PLEASE HELP!!!! I know i messed up by getting married but my family pushed me to that level and I cant even come out to them because I dont want to loose them.!
I'm sorry you are in such a bad situation! The only way out is to leave i would think- as difficult as that would be.
ammk.....Hello and a great big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! I can remember the first post that I made on EC. I was desperate for help and I got the help that I so needed. I hope that we can help you in the same way that I received help. The most important thing to remember about Empty Closets is that we do care about you! We're very glad that you found us here on EC and hope that we can answer questions, give support if you need it and provide a place to vent (as long as it's not violent!) when that becomes necessary! I can't tell you how sorry I am for you in the situation that you find yourself in. I would like to tell you I have a solution, but I can't lie as I do not have one. I can offer you the support of all the folks here on Empty Closets...people who will listen when you need to "talk" to someone. There are some other Muslim members here so I hope they will see your post and get in contact with you. Please keep in touch with us...we do care and will be here when you need to talk. There are 18 different sub-forums here that you can check out and join in the conversations or start your own thread/conversation. When you have made at least 10 posts on various threads you will be able to post messages on a member's Profile Page. Just click on a member's Avatar Picture and then click on "Profile Page" in the dialogue box that pops up. You'll then be on their Profile Page and there will be a box that says: "Write Something" When you have been on EC for a few weeks and have made at least 50 posts on various forums, you can apply for Full Membership. A Full Member can send Private Messages (PM) to other Full Members and share personal contact info. Right now you can only send a PM to a Staff Member as that is always possible. Here is a quote from the Full Membership information forum: *****To be eligible you must be a member of Empty Closets for a minimum of two weeks, and have a minimum of 50 posts. These posts must be across numerous forums (Fun & Games does not contribute to post count), and consistently posted across a minimum of two weeks. You wouldn't be eligible, for example, if you registered, had no activity for two weeks, and then returned to post 50 times on your 14th day of membership. *****Well, as I said, we're very glad you found us! If you have any questions at all, you can post a question on my Profile Page or send me a Private Message. .....David
Hey @ammk That’s a lot and I can see how you’re feeling lost as to where to start. Take a breath. There always someone here to support you as you work it all out. I have a couple of questions. Under normal circumstances, is divorce an option for Muslim couples such as yourself? Leaving your sexuality aside for the moment. If yes, maybe it would be easier to pursue that first before tackling coming out if that’s something you plan to do at some point. If not, is there perhaps a support group in your area for people leaving arranged marriages? I’m sort of assuming you’re in a city big enough to have support services for a number of situations. Is there an LGBT centre where you live? Perhaps there’s a meetup.com group for LGBT muslims! Or any type of group for an interest of yours that you could join and build an outside support network for when you start to take steps to disentangle yourself from your current situation. Anyway, I hope you stick around because, despite all our stories being slightly different in some way, it really does help to read and talk about all this. Hang in there. You’ve got this. :}
Hey I am sorry you are in such a difficult situation. I agree that perhaps looking online for some LGBT groups and ideally any support for LGBT muslims anywhere nearby would be a good start. It might not feel like much but if you can begin to find some support and a network then you can perhaps start to look at the options moving forward.
Hi welcome. I’m sorry about your situation. As hard as this might be for you the best advice I can give is leave him.
Welcome to EC! I’m really sorry to hear about your current situation. I can’t relate to all elements of your experiences, but I have been in a long term relationship with a man, so I understand how suffocating that can feel. I also know how hard the physical side of the relationship can be, and I’m really sorry that your husband is putting pressure on you. I appreciate it’s easy for me to say, but just know that, even though you are married that does not entitle him to sex with you. EC was a huge source of support for me in navigating a way forward. I hope that you also find the same support here.
This sounds like a really difficult situation, I really feel for you. Coming from a strict religious background I understand the pressure that families can exert on you and the limited range of choices you have. It doesn't sound like this was really your decision as you were pressured into it. It's not your fault. I hope you will find some of the support you need here. The most important thing is your own personal safety, until you are able to potentially leave. Are there any local support services for women in your situation? I'm thinking of a charity or organisation that helps women to leave forced marriage? It will depend on where you are in the world. Is there a way you can independently save up money to give you more choices? Sending much love and strength to you.
