How can I deal with a toxic relationship?

It doesn't look good to me. Have you tried to talk to him about it? How long you know him? Is it just online flirting or you actually seen each other in person? What did you mean by him being demanding and cruel? If you give us more details we will have better insight.

 

I see it as you can either just deal with it, or create a boundary (which may mean giving up on it).

You say it's a toxic behavior- is it something you can put up with? Is it something that would be *healthy* for you to put up with?

If not, when you have to communicate that and set a boundary. "I feel like *toxic behaviour* is a bit harsh/cruel etc", then depending on his reaction, you may need to set a boundary. If you set a boundary, follow through with it, or it doesn't really mean much.

I sympathize, it's an unpleasant situation :/

 

If you're calling this person a psychopath, it sounds to me like it's clear whether you should leave the relationship. You haven't divulged many details, but I'll go ahead and throw it out there never to discount the power of people like this. I was stalked by my likely-psychopathic neighbor who nearly cost me everything. So if you must make a plan to leave, do it, but do it quietly and don't tell anybody you may share with this person. Do what you can to make a clean break and if you have any kind of support system outside of this person, utilize it and make sure they know what's going on. DomesticShelters.org has some good advice for creating escape plans if you need it and keeping safe after leaving. I hope this helps!

 

All I can say is, as much as you may love him, imagine years down the road in a committed relationship with someone who is constantly disrespectful and cruel to you. Do you wanna spend those years that way, or move on now and look for other options? Your life, your choice.

 

Just cut it off. As it's only online flirting, you need do no more. Use the block or delete button and move on.

Sometimes the simplest advice is the best advice.

 

Why would you want to be involved with someone who you have described as toxic and a psychopath? Somebody who is always putting you to the test and driving you crazy (your words). We're not seriously talking about second chances here, are we?

I don't wish to be rude, but what do you think it says about your own mental state if you are playing along with all of this? It's not rational and it doesn't make sense.

 

Hello, @BlueLion. I guess this really depends on what this guy's behaviour has been. When you say he's really put you to the test and the like, what kinds of things has he been saying or doing? You said you knew him in person before; was he ever physically abusive? Manipulative?

I'm also a bit concerned about you viewing him as a god; he's no such thing. He is a person, flawed as anyone else. I think it's important that the rose-tinted glasses come off in matters of the heart, because viewing someone as perfect and without faults often sets someone up for abuse (or further abuse). If your standard for his perfection is his appearance, you need to take some time to re-evaluate your priorities. If he's being horrible towards you and has been given the opportunity to change his behaviour and hasn't, he's no good for you--no matter how handsome he might be. If his offenses are minor, then it's important to have this discussion with him. If he's unwilling to change (or says he will but makes zero effort), it's likely best to just cut contact altogether.

If his offenses are many and more severe in nature, no amount of second chances will fix things. We can't tell you what to do, but I do advise that you think it over and ask yourself why you're so intent on staying in contact with this guy when 1) you don't/can't see each other in person, and 2) he's awful to you. Take some time to build up your self worth, to realize that you are deserving of respect and healthy relationships. Don't settle for less.