Long story short I was texting a guy tonight and he started being flirtier with his messages. I always struggle to come up with responses that are: -funny -sexy/flirty As it is, but what makes me panic even more is that this guy was quite quick with his responses, which makes me feel I have to respond quickly too. I just couldn't think of anything intelligent to say and ended up texting something that maybe didn't make sense/sounded creepy. I know I wouldn't know what to say if I'd be texted that, and now he hasn't responded and it's been 45 mins. We were gonna meet for a date tomorrow but now I think I've offended him I'm always so stupid and and panicky when it comes to flirting, more so over text. Another opportunity I've messed up completely, and he seemed like a really nice guy- we had loads in common. How can I improve?
I would say don't worry about having a quick flirty response as much as just being yourself. If he likes you than being yourself should be good enough for him. And maybe, as you get to know him more and feel more relaxed with him, the quick flirty comments will come more naturally to you. Hope this helps. I'm sure there will be others along soon who can give even better advice.
I hope I can do that. I'm just so out of my depth with technology compared with talking on person, where I find it easy to relax and come up with fast, good responses and I love listening to other people in person. Texting just stresses me out. I'm trying not to panic but I always feel so stupid and "You're an idiot, you should have said that/not said that!" after I send a message. I hate feeling like I've killed a conversation or made it hard for him to respond. I often deliberate for so long over a response that I just send whatever substandard reply I can think of just so I can 'dump out' the negative, panicky feelings I have.
I'm the opposite of you. I get stressed when talking in person. Usually I say something that I regret later. Texting is more comfortable. It has the advantage that you don't have to respond immediately. If someone surprise you, take a while to calm emotions. Better to respond slowly and surely than fast with a blast.
Just communicate that you do better in conversation in person. If they're a decent person they'll understand that. I'm also on the opposite end where face-to-face communication usually leaves me panicky and texting gives me room to collect myself, but that's just life- everyone is different. It shouldn't be a big deal. And it's nit something you have to apologize for. <3
See all that above you wrote? Say that to this person. I agree w/ KaiOfBees, if it’s a good person they will understand & you can go from there. I found my partner like this. I’m great at text communication & I clam up in person. So, it can work.
I think we place too much emphasis on flirting and not enough on simply showing an interest in the other person. You will gain more from being genuinely interested and asking open questions than you ever will from coming out with funny or flirty one-liners. A simple compliment is really all it takes to let someone know you are interested or into them. If someone looks nice, why not tell them? If someone smells nice, why not tell them? If someone has a nice/kind smile, why not tell them?
