Worried About Gender Identity And Sexuality

Hi ThatgirlLauren, welcome to EC, it’s great here, you’ll love it!
So does your sister know you are a woman? If so what does she say about that? And what makes you think your parents will react badly, did they react badly to her?
And I’m pretty sure you aren’t ugly, as a fellow woman I can tell you with a tweak here and there we are all beautiful beings

 

Welcome to EC.

You need to do what is right and best for you. If your family decides to come along for the ride, great. If not that is their choice. (if they did not automatically disown your sister that indicates to me that they will likely eventually come around)

As far as thinking that you do not look pretty enough, welcome to being a woman. Not one woman that I have known has been actually satisfied with how they look (and I have known actors and models). As far as thinking that you have to be movie star material to find a partner that is bunk, what really matters is who you are inside. I was plain when I was younger and now add to that the fact that I am nearly 60. I got married this year,. Finding someone is a matter of putting yourself out there, being a good friend and someone is likely to show up. (though being a transitioned person does make it more difficult to find someone who actually cares, but not impossible)

 

I do not watch Youtube or really any sort of social media. All I know is that every woman that I have met cis, trans or intersex has felt that their looks are deficient when they are actually talked to in private. No matter how much confidence they project or what their actual looks were. It is what commercial media, advertising and society in general programs us with.

 

Hi Lauren, I hope this doesn't come over as patronising but that's the kind of daft thing I used to say when I was 18!

Back then I had no confidence and just assumed no-one would ever want to have a relationship with me. I now have the hindsight of over 50 years and can see I have loads to offer any potential partner beyond just looks. I bet you do too.

The problem is that as human beings we can't see the road ahead (at least not clearly - all too often it is shrouded in fog), we can only look behind.

Anyway, what's more important is the situation with your family. Yes, it could well be that they do shun you when you come out. So you need to start planning an independent life apart from them and build up the support network you will need if they do turn their backs on you. This means thinking about how you're going to survive financially - what job are you aiming towards? Will this involve a period of study? Do you have friends you can confide in? Is there an LGTB+ community in the area where you live?

Think strategically about this, and try peering through the murk on that road ahead - in five years' time where do you want to live? At what stage do you want to be in your transition?

And as others have said, if it's support you need, you've come to the right place here at EC.

Beth

 

There’s no age to early to transition as long as you know what you want. Your parents shouldn’t debar your happiness. You’ve always wanted this, so girl go for it. Your parents might be angry with you or they might not but your happiness truly matters no matter what they say.

 

Congratulations on wanting to become a teacher, and your school plans. I’m working on becoming a teacher myself. Realizing I’m trans at the same time. I’m imagining transitioning in front of a class of high school students. Holy crap. It sounds like youve had the kind of experience that can give a person the super power of empathy, which is such a valuable skill in a teacher. Let’s go be the teachers we wish we had when we were kids