I recently came out to a few friends and family. They were cool with it. But i have known all my life im gay just too scared to say but now i am wanting to tell people and meet someone but I'm struggling with, how? People freak out that I'm 28 and out for a little while, is it weird? Advice much appreciated
There are a number of ways of telling people, but only you can decide which is best for you. If I was coming out all over again, I would probably do it in writing. I would make sure parents and siblings knew first and give them time to ask questions and work through the news, but then I would send a blanket message to everyone, at the same time to get the news out of the way. The good thing about the written word is that you have the opportunity to tell people in your own way and on your own terms, without interruption or drama. When you sit down for a big conversation, you can't control it and just need to react in the moment to whatever the other person (or people) say. That's pretty daunting actually. The other thing about the written word is that you can take your time to word it in just the right way and make several drafts - if you need to. Once you have come out to everyone, you don't have a secret to keep and that makes the possibility of meeting and dating people so much easier. You will not have to cover your tracks or look over your shoulder for people who might know you. Coming out at 28 is not weird at all. Coming out is a journey and not a sprint. We all start and finish the journey at a different time... our own time.
Hi Thanks, I've told parents already. I was thinking of doing a post on my socials but I'm quite a private person in that way tbh. Someone I known for over 20 years blocked me due to it, not that i care there loss! It's like the saying rip the plaster off i suppose
I can only say that I found it much harder telling one person at a time in face to face conversations. Also, it seemed to take forever because I had to pluck up the courage every single time. Sending out a well worded blanket message that covers many questions gets it out the way. If you take your time drafting the message, it will not seem impersonal either.
Cml.....I often suggest that people use a letter when coming out in a difficult situation or in a situation where they want to tell a lot of people all at the same time. The good thing about a letter is that you can edit it several times until it says exactly what you want. Then you can leave it for someone to find, mail it to someone or post it on social media. There are some excellent sample letters here on Empty Closets...here is the link: http://emptyclosets.com/home/pages/resources/coming-out-letters.php Hope that helps! .....David
I just told people one at a time. First a good friend, then my parents and siblings, then other friends. The only thing that irked me was that some people were in disbelief because I never came across that way (I didn't behave the way stereotypes in popular culture did) and suggested that I was instead bi. It really seemed to take people by surprise but thankfully everyone was cool with it.
