I consider myself gay. I like guys and I certainly get a nice strange sensation talking with them. I like to wear women’s underwear and paint my nails. My fantasies I’m definitely bottom. I have no desire to change and become a girl. So other than a really strange person what would you consider me? Thank you for your input
Me too. I like feeling the feminine side of me but my fantasies and romantic longings, I see me as a guy with a guy you might just like feminine things. Lots of gay guys do. I love women's fashion I don't wear it but sometimes I am a bit jealous of how they get to dress. Not here -You're just you
Tymee..... I would consider you to be the special, unique YOU! Labels can be good for some people and not so much for others. I am very happy to use the label "Gay". For many years I felt like I didn't truly fit anywhere. When I finally accepted that I was and always had been gay, I finally found my "home". It felt good to know that I belonged to a group of millions of people all across the globe! Many other people feel differently than I do and prefer not to have a label, or simply haven't yet found a label that "fits" them. Why don't you just give yourself some time to think about it, or as I saw on a post once, give yourself time to grow into the person you're meant to be and then consider a label! .....David
I would not want to be "normal" (though when I have been really depressed I did wish for it). You are an individual with your own tastes and interests. A feminine gay guy is still a guy.
Thank you I feel so welcome here. Your right why be normal! Sometimes it’s hard to deal with this when I have a hard time expressing myself.
@quebec — “For many years I felt like I didn’t truly fit anywhere.” This is something that I have wrestled with in my past. I knew in high school that I was attracted to other guys. My best friend sealed that deal. As I have written here on EC, I came out to myself at that time, and it continues to this day. But over the years, the only gay guys that I associated with tended to be on the feminine side. And as such, despite some with great looks, just not my type. So I just muddled along, even going so far as to get married, not feeling like I belonged, gay or straight. Then, about 5 years ago, as I began going online to read about the wider gay community, I learned that there are in fact gay men like myself. I just had not personally met any of them. Regular guys doing regular guy stuff, attracted to, and loving, other guys. About the same time, through my wife, I met a gay couple who were/are so obviously in love in a visible “homo-normative” way that I was immediately taken aback, and those two guys started my personal questioning into “What if I could find someone like that, a guy who is my own Mr Right?” So, here I am, day by day, striving to grow into the man I was meant to be.
What a great story and thank you for sharing. I love this gay community I can talk openly to other gays to get advice and tips. I think that if we met outside here we would not click (because I'm a feminine gay), but here we can talk about issues and topics of being gay. Thank you for sharing your story and it actually opened my eyes wider. I hope you find that someone special, I really do.
Prior to coming out I play acted the masculine role that was expected. All the while under it all was a feminine gay guy hiding out. Once out I was able to cast off much of that toxic masculinity and begin to embrace the real me. My first and so far only bf was for lack of a better expression a very gay feminine man. He helped me realize that there was absolutely nothing wrong or odd about being a feminine gay man. We had no desire to be women but rather desired to expose our inner selves for what we were. It made us no less male and much happier. There is no right path for everyone, each of our journeys are unique to who we are and want to be. Enjoy the ride.
It is complicated sorting these things out, isn't it? I share some of your passions--femme wear, nails!, bottom fun--and can sometimes let myself wonder where I fit or why I'm not more "usual" somehow. Then I wonder what label might fit. Then I wonder if any label fits ALL of the time. Then after all of that (plus deep breathing and sharing with a friend or therapist) I realize the point is that I get to be me. And whatever labels I use or communities I affiliate with are just a part being the me that connects passionately with others in ways that are fun and genuine. Thanks for sharing with us.
Thank you for your response and yes it’s complicated. I enjoy being me I’m not gonna change. At times I feel alone on this journey but I know I’m not. Thank you
Right! I have no desire to be a woman. I love feeling that way though. I too use to have that masculinity image (military) it was so hard to do. I wore woman’s under garments to keep my serenity. Thank you
