Intrusive thoughts over a crush? Okay, I’ll explain my story. I’m a Bisexual male that is crushing on my straight male friend hard...And I think it’s turned into intrusive thoughts OCD. He doesn’t know and I don’t think I’ll ever tell him, I plan on dealing with this myself because I’m so ashamed and embarrassed. Common symptoms include Reminiscing about memories of him and reliving them. Also planning and romantasizing on future ‘talks’. Reminiscing about past dialogues with him, and then thinking ‘oh I forgot to tell him that, I’ll tell him next time’. - But then even if I accomplish this, if Becomes a cycle that is repeated after every time I see him. I’ve always had these weird thoughts about other people (friends etc), but haven’t really noticed a real issue until now, maybe because this involves a crush? It has gotten to the point where I am ‘punishing’ myself and I consider him to be a victim of the crush. I hate myself for feeling this. I literally thought I was trapped, until I googled ‘thoughts ocd’ and discovered a bunch of results. Seeing this has helped me a lot, knowing it isn’t some weird condition exclusive to me. I can already say I feel a lot more relaxed now. The thing is, I don’t want to even have these romantic feelings because A) he’s straight. And he’s an incredibly supporting friend. A friend I would like to have for life. Why would I want to even tarnish that to begin with? B) Even if some magic were to happen and we got together, our friendship has too much of a brother dynamic for it to go anywhere and actually feeling like doing ‘romantic’ things with him is weird. My current plan 1) Cutting back heavily on cannabis 2) Making an effort to distance myself from him more. Make excuses when he asks to hang out. Do this on a temporary basis until my feelings fade. This will hopefully curb both my crush AND the intrusive thoughts, as they usually develop out of experiences with him. Has anyone else experienced anything similar to this? How did you deal with it? And any more recommendations?
I had a rough time getting over feelings for my best friend in highschool. It's really difficult, and I'm sorry you're going through this. I think your plan is good. I found distance helped, and surrounding myself with different friends. In fact, I truly got over my feelings when I lived in a different country than him for a year (but this option isn't always possible hahaha). One way to make it easier is, if he wants to hang out, invite other friends too so it isn't just the two of you. Good luck!
