Hi guys..It's been a while since i posted something here and i need a little help. First of all happy 2019 even if it's a bit late . Soooo my "problem"... I'm actually really happy right now. I met a girl and we've been dating for three months. I'm falling really hard for her and recently i've come out to her as a trans guy. She's really supporting and she keeps asking question to understand more about this. Last year i came to terms with my gender and, even though I know I'm a boy, I don't think I'll ever transition. She's the only person I told because I trust her and it was needed. She's virgin and she knew i slept with other women before but I explained her that i never let them touch me because I was not comfortable. The thing is that we are close to our first time and she asked me what she can do and where but i don't know. I really want to be with her in that way but i have never masturbate or let anyone touch me. If anybody has any advice about how to approach this, it'll be very appreciated
That is a tough one as generally you want to touch and be touched. Perhaps being her first time maybe you can think of it as your own first time and just kind of allow things to happen? I can't comment on body dysphoria, so I am not sure in how to address what has in the past made you uncomfortable about being touched. Maybe allow touching but no insertion of any kind.
You seem to have a nice relationship. She seens to be pretty awesome. You can get intimate without being touched in certain areas. I can imagine that as time goes by you will get more comfortable. Sex isn't something that can be clearly defined and you don't have to do it in a certain way. You can keep your clothes on. You can name places you can be touched. Like arms, back, neck, your feet etc. It's going to be awkward but that's normal. Try to approach it with patience and humour. You are supposed to be able to have some fun and it's up to you to define how you do it. You will propably get at least a bit more comfortable in the future but try to focus on what is happening now.
I think you should probably experiment with yourself alone first. If you have never masturbated because you felt uncomfortable, well, I don't really see it going any better with someone else. Test your own limits with yourself at first so then you can tell her what works and what doesn't. Also, go slowly. You don't want to get dysphoric during sex.
Thank you guys for replying me. The thing is she is scared she won't be able to make me feel good, when i only need her to breath to feel on cloud nine. I know what she likes and she thinks that she'll make me upset. I'm so lucky and i just want to reassure her and treat her the way she deserves.
As was suggested, you can experiment on your own to figure out what does feel pleasurable for you, and where you really don't want to be touched. Kissing, touching extremities, touching over clothing might be enough for you where other things would be too dysphoric. Think about it, experiment/masturbate on your own if you're comfortable, and then tell her the results. Also tell her what you've said here.... seeing her happy makes you happy, and you don't need much reciprocation to feel good with her. And tell her what you are comfortable with her doing, no matter how much or how little. That should help her worries about not doing enough to make you feel good as well.