Do you need to be drunk to have a good time?

I like beer, especially what we call here cervejas artesanais (not sure if it is like artesanal beer or craft beer in English). They are usually more expensive, so it's not something most people can drink a lot, even if you want, but they usually have an unique taste and different ingredients. They taste better, usually, so it's something I like to buy every now and then, when i have the spare money, to enjoy the taste, usually with a nice meal or snack. I also like wine, which falls into the same thing - It's something expensive, so you I don't buy it to "get drunk", but i enjoy the taste ocasionally.

So, in these situations, I am having a good time, but not because i'm drunk or because of alcohol. The beer or wine is part of it, but there is also a good meal, good music, and a nice conversation.

However, i'm digressing, since the theme here is getting drunk, which is an entirely different thing. In resume, I agree with you and Ruby Dragon - you don't need alcohol to have fun, and if you think you do, then it is a good idea to review your concept of "fun" and what are you expecting from the activity you are taking part in. Obviously it isn't healthy to drink a lot, but worrying about your body is just part of the problem.

I'm not proud to say I have drunk a lot in my past. I had a boyfriend who enjoyed parties, and he was the type of person who bothers you if you stop drinking. "Drink more! Why are you leaving me to drink alone? I want you to drink more!". I'm glad I broke up with him. I know many people drink a lot because of social pressure, so it is also important to check if your company is being harmful to you or not.

But I can't blame him for everything. I have also drunk a lot with my friends - not because they forced me to (they didn't), but because I wanted to. And this created many stories which, during that time, I thought of as "funny drunk stories", but now they are just... sad in my opinion. Almost passing out, vomiting my insides out... That wasn't fun, that was simply stupid. I could have drunk much less, to enjoy the flavor of a drink with my friends, or simply enjoying their company without drinking anything. But many times, I was drinking just for the sake of drinking, like if their company equals that type of activity.

One time, I was with my friends and one of these "cases" happened. I felt like shit, and missed a lot of what my friends were doing (like playing cards, chatting and eating) because I was trying to recover. They had to give me a bath and then put me in bed. This was during the morning - I only rejoined the group in the start of the night. This was during a trip where we rented a house near a river here in the city.

During the night, I had a good conversation with one of my friends, which doesn't drink anymore. He does that because of religious reasons (his religion allows it, but a personal happening in his life made him decide that). We chatted about this theme we are talking about now: Drinking to have fun.

On that day, I decided I never wanted to feel like that again. I saw that alcohol was not helping me to have a good time - instead, it was destroying it, since i couldn't enjoy the company of my friends, the taste of the meal they were cooking and the jokes and conversation (most of them were drinking too, but a lot less than I did). So, today, I didn't stop drinking, like my friend did, but I don't drink like that anymore. When i drink today, I do because i'm enjoying the taste of the drink, like I would enjoy a can of a soft drink or any other beverage, occasionally. I don't buy lots of cheap alcohol for the purpose of getting drunk anymore.

The result? I have more fun now than I had before. Real fun, and not laying-on-the-floor-because-i'm-feeling-like-shit """""fun""""".

It wasn't my case, because, aside from me, my friends never drank too much. But i think lots of people (like my ex) drink because they are surrounded by uninteresting people, and alcohol makes it easier to socialize with these people. But... if you are surrounded by uninteresting people, in a uninteresting place... wouldn't it be best to find nice people, in a better place, instead of forcing yourself to use a drug (alcohol is a drug) to transform those people and that place in your head, in a lie that "everything is fine and everyone is nice"?

Like always, I think i digressed more than I helped with the discussion. But I hope my experience provides an opportunity of reflection about the subject. If you enjoy the occasional glass of wine or cup of beer, I think that's fine. But it is worth to think about why you are drinking, and if you are drinking because you want to, or if alcohol is becoming a necessity for you to have fun or feel good.

I would also like to remind everyone that I wasn't diagnosed as an alcoholic. In my point of view (from someone who doesn't understand about psychology and medicine), my problem was discipline and the things i expected from alcohol. There are many who would benefit from thinking about that, like i said above. However, in some cases, there is physical addiction, and stop drinking is much harder in those cases. If you suspect that may be your case, or the case of somebody you know, don't be afraid of seeking help. When you are addicted, seeking help is an essential part of the fight against your addiction, and there is nothing wrong in seeking professional help about it.

I also know that many of you, like me, are shy and anxious, and drink because it makes it easier to talk to people. However, by drinking, you are only putting a mask on the social difficulty, and possibly making it harder for you to create good and healthy connections with meaningful people. Therapy is what is truly helping me to overcome my social anxiety, and I recommend it to everyone.

 

Thank you. And I do agree with you. I'm sorry about your date, but it appears that you have handled it pretty well - I wouldn't want to go out with a guy like that for a second time.

I think that people need to respect others above all else. When it comes to alcohol, many people aren't satisfied to drink their own drinks, they need to pressure people around them to drink too, some being stubborn and insistent to the point of being jerks. I'm obviously not talking about someone who says "Do you want a drink? No? Are you sure, it's good! No? Oh, then ok.". I'm talking about people who never reach the "ok" point, and keep pestering others to drink too.

Anyway, like I said, I agree with you.

^