So I've been transitioning in the little ways that I can, but my husband has made it very clear that it's not something he likes. Saying FtM people are so unattractive to him, which seems really strange because he's pansexual and is into everyone else. So when I'm home alone, for these brief hours I can wear my binder, and the clothes I really love, and it feels like bliss, but also like I'm sneaking around. I also cancelled my top surgery because he made me feel like he couldn't be attracted to me without my breasts. What would you suggest I do?
Do what feels right for you, even if he doesn't like it. If you sacrifice your well being just to please your husband, you'll regret it later down the line. Plus, if your husband cannot love you for you, then maybe he's not the one for you. I mean, if you scheduled your top surgery to begin with, it must mean you wanted it, right? Don't let your husband dictate your life. That's not healthy.
It seems to me like your husband is being very manipulative and horribly unsupportive. You deserve much better. If I were you, I'd give him an ultimatum and if he doesn't begin to respect you and allow you to live your best life, I'd leave. No one should be told by the person that they love that they're not good enough based on something they can't control. Overall do what is best for you, and don't let him dictate what you do with yourself and how you live your life.
Thanks peeps, I love him a lot, but this has really been tough for me to feel like I have to choose between one or the other
Did your husband know you would be transitioning before you were married? If not, then he is not really expected to be accepting or approving. It is a new you and he didn't sign on for it. Now if he knew or you told him and he was willing to accept it then, yeah he's kinda being a jerk. But either way we can't force people to accept us. So you would have to determine how important is it to you to be you, and where does he fit in to the you you want to be.
Yeah, I talked about it lots with him when we first got together, and he said he'd love me no matter what. But it's true, if he can't love me for who I am anymore, then I guess we'll just have to grow apart. Only time will tell.
