Being autistic means that I’m quite socially awkward and it’s difficult for me to make deep connections and open up to people. Dating as an autistic is difficult in itself, but being gay makes it even more impossible. Sometimes I feel that no one will ever love me, not because I’m unlovable (I don’t think anyone is), but simply because I don’t know how to give people a chance to get to know me. I only had one girlfriend before but I really messed up, partly because I was still dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia and depression, and partly because, well, I’m autistic and I suck at human relationships to begin with. Sometimes I think that it was my only chance, even though I wasn’t happy in that relationship. I just think that neurotypicals and autistics have very different expectations of what a relationship should be, and I don’t think I could ever live up to the NT one. The only other option is to date other autistics, but bi/lesbian autistic women are a pretty small minority, so it’s also difficult to meet one. Is there anyone else here who is both autistic and LGBT+? It would be nice to read about your experiences, because I’ve been feeling very alone lately.
I am bi and have ADHD. ADHD and Autism are very similar. I can't even stay in relationships for long because people like us get bored very easily. And stop putting yourself down just because you have autism. If you find the right person (which you will), then you will be happy. But people accept autism just like I have a girlfriend who accepts me for being bi and having ADHD. You just need to find the right person. But look you don't need love to be happy. Get to know yourself first before you get to know other people. Just do what makes you happy, but remember love doesn't make you happy, being yourself and loving yourself makes you happy. You are not alone, I always have stupid people put me down because of who I am. I love myself and anyone who doesn't accept me I tell them to fuck off out my life! If you need anymore help just PM me I don't think I made my answer clear enough anyways have a good day
Thanks, I know I need to focus on being happy, with or without someone, but I just feel so hopeless on bad days. Sometimes I feel like I’m not a valid enough lesbian to come out, because I haven’t had a very serious relationship. I actually also have ADHD comorbid with autism so I definitely relate to the ‘getting bored with people’ feel. It is difficult for me to maintain friendships or relationships, even if I like the person.
Well I'm not autistic but my best friend (whose someone I like more than that) has aspergers and she's bi. I'd say the thing I've learnt from her is to communicate in words. Don't assume anything. Tell if something is going unsteady and communicate the uneasiness. Don't do anything youre un comfortable with. Everyone has needs, autistic or otherwise, so communicate them and ask about them. If opening up in verbal words is difficult, then perhaps use pictures or write a letter.
