Trigger warnings for abuse, transphobia, homophobia, ableism etc. I've lived with my parents my whole life, and since they found out that I'm queer and autistic, they've made my life a misery. They insist that they aren't bigoted or abusive, but they constantly deadname me and yell at me when I (politely) correct them. My dad has called me something along the lines of "special snowflake" because I use fairly complicated labels for my gender and sexuality, and they get mad and shout at me when I stim too much or have meltdowns. They've even accused me of faking my autism. They also insist that there's no such thing as "deadnaming" and tell me that I need to get over myself and start using my birthname again. There's no chance that I'm going to be able to move away in the next few years, and I'm practically at breaking point. Does anyone have any tips for how I can cope with being around them? I can barely take it anymore. Thank you very much! ~Ash
When you say that you use "complicated" labels, what do you mean, exactly? It's possible that if this is something they've just literally never heard of, they may be having a hard time understanding what it is you're talking about what you discuss these labels. That's not to say that what they're doing isn't hurtful, but it might help to know what they might be coming to the table with. Do you know any other LGBT folks, perhaps people of similar genders or sexualities such as yourself? Are there any community centers you could volunteer at, or otherwise places you could go nearby where you might feel a little more "normal" in that crowd? Finally, when you say your parents are accusing you of faking autism - do you have a medical diagnosis? If so, perhaps your doctor could intervene with your parents and explain the condition a bit more - or refer you to someone who can do that.
Hi, and thanks for answering! I identify as polysexual and panromantic (and genderfae, but they don't know that). I didn't expect them to know what those words mean, so I explained them when I came out. I appreciate that it's a big learning curve for them, but they openly make fun of me for it and have claimed in the past that I'm just looking for attention. Most of my friends are queer, and I often talk to them about this stuff. Going to a youth group etc. would be difficult, as my parents wouldn't allow it. And yes, I have a medical diagnosis. It might well be worth talking to a doctor, as my parents like to think they know everything about autism, when all they really know is the stereotypes. It's definitely worth looking into. Thanks very much!
