There are many coming out stories here on empty closets. So have gone well, others not so much. I thought it would be nice to share one that was really great! Last week I happened to run into an old friend in the grocery store. I haven't seen him in about five years. We worked together for quite a while and had gotten to know each somewhat. At that time I was just starting to accept that I was not straight. It was something that I had known for a very long time. But I had managed to convince myself when I was 21 that I could be straight if I wanted to be. That lead to many years of self-hate and depression. My friend was quite obviously gay. Now I hate to say things like that as they really do tend to support the stereotype of a flamboyant gay guy. He wasn't completely overboard...but you could tell. He never talked about it one way or the other and was a good guy to work with. For quite a long time I wanted to talk with him about LGBT things. I thought I might be able to understand the mess I felt I was in better with some ideas, etc. from him. I never had the courage to do it. That day in the store, when I saw him, we both smiled and actually hugged (I NEVER used to do that). We talked a little about what we have been doing...then my mouth betrayed me. With no thought from me at all, my mouth said; "I always wanted to sit down and talk with you when we worked together". He gave me a confused look and said; "About what?" Time for panic. This was not planned and I have never come out to anyone without planning it in advance. I really had no idea how to start the rest of this conversation. My answer to him was pretty stupid...but it was direct! "What do you think about the LGBT community?" As soon as I said it I felt dumb and embarrassed. He looked at me really oddly, paused while I panicked, and said; "I'm part of it". At that point I said absolutely the only think that I could think of...."So am I". He took a good look at me, grabbed me into a huge hug and I promptly broke into tears....in the grocery store! We went over to the deli, sat down and talked for quite a while. I have never had this kind of coming out experience before. I no longer feel the pressure of all the guilt and shame that I carried for so many years because of that dark, painful secret. So I no longer feel the need to go around telling everyone I know that I am gay. I am out to some very close friends and my wife (yes, I'm married, she knows and we are staying together). Every other time I have come out it has been a decision that I made before hand and deliberately made time to be with the person that I was coming out to. First time it has ever been an on-the-spot, totally unplanned experience...IT WAS INCREDIBLE!! I guess if it hadn't gone well I would feel different, but I must have known subconsciously that he would be fine with it. I was walking on air for the rest of the day and every time I think about it I still get a silly smile on my face. So there you have my completely unplanned, happy coming out experience! ....David
That’s beautiful, thanks for sharing David. Will you now keep in touch with your friend? It may help to keep you in touch with the gay part of you , if you have that contact. I know for many years I was just alone , had no gay friends , and that side of me found no expression. I don’t mean that in a sexual way, I mean it in a way if expressing who I am. Hope that makes sense. Im not sure if you already have a means of being yourself , outside of your married relationship.
Northern guy....Hey thanks for the reply...all the way from the UK! Yes, he and I are staying in touch. And again, yes, I do have ways of just being my gay self on occasion! ...David
