I got my binder in, and was quite excited so I decided to try wearing it in public. I went to Home Depot to return some stuff and then to a restaurant for Pho. I don't think I passed, but I do think I succeeded in confusing everyone. The clerk at HD told me I " have a lot of nice hair". And avoided calling me sir or madam or by name. The server at the restaurant eventually called me ma'am (darn!) about 30 min in. So it's good that it took him a while to figure it out??!? I realize that the polite forms of address are sir or ma'am, and I get that no one wants to offend me by guessing wrong. I just wish they'd take the clues I'm trying to give by the way I dress and go with it. Or is there a good neutral form of address??
Oh and it feels great to wear the binder. Like I relax into myself more. I think I'd been hoping to pass just a bit so I could see what it felt like. I'm trying to figure out how important it is to me to pass vs how comfortable I am hanging out between or androgynous or whatever you call this place where I'm ambiguous.
That's great! I'm glad it makes you feel good. Honestly, I'm not sure I can think of any neutral versions of "sir" or "ma'am", although it's something I've tried thinking about. In a pinch, maybe you could use "comrade" (I'm joking.. sort of haha.) Anyways, it's great you're feeling more comfortable with the binder, and hopefully you're able to work out where you're most comfortable.
