Back After 4 Months and a Lot Has Changed

Last time I was on here I was questioning whether I was transgender or not. Since then I have gone a lot of introspection and even went to a couple talks about the subject. During this time I came to a couple hard hitting truths. One is that yes I am transgender. Two was that I couldn't safely come out because of my father's views on it ( I am unsure of my mother's). And the third for me is the hardest. I talked to the doctor about my wishes to start on T and so he set me up with an OBGYN doctor (closest I have to anything trans related around my state within reasonable distance). The doctor wasn't the most understanding however it was obvious she was trying to stay professional and understanding. However I was told that it was not recommended since I also have pcos. I honestly feel like shit now because no other doctors will see me and the ones that will refuse to do anything or look for something that would work. They refuse to explain why I can't as I have never had a period or have cysts on my ovaries. I honestly feel like shit and I already feel dsyphoria about not being able to get a binder. (The few friends I have live too far for me to send anything to them) I just really need to talk to people I guess because I feel like I can't ever catch a break.