When you spent your adolescence looking up to and wanting to be like all the cis men you see around you and on TV.
When you try to make it funny and write a list of names to call your breast (ggnnn...) with: -Tissue -Complimentary Tissue -Second Floor -Upper Feature -Material -The Presence -Guests -Cloister Zone -Special Package -Chrysalis -I Lost The Receipt -Liars
When you’re not out as trans* and people call you “daughter”, “miss”, etc. and you’re worried that you’ll never pass once you actually come out.
When you have no idea about how, where, who, when to date. :-((( When you write "nubile... but, actually, bachelor ;-) " When a questionnaire asks your sex and you exclaim aloud: "Mind you own business!".
When you always wanted to be 6 feet tall, and when you finally are, realize that you're trans and want to be shorter.
Being trans can be a burden. Doctors made some tests and didn't know what to do with my results. They said they had to put me in the same category with women but after awhile another doctor was confused about it because I had bad symptoms but my test results were just fine. Or would have been if I was a cis woman. For a man or even a boy who is 12 years younger those same results would be a serious sign of something being badly wrong. After all they had to compare me to cis males. I had to fight for decent medication and still they think my case was mostly made up. Feels bad when you can't really even function.
When you wonder if you'll ever come out to your parents, because you've been in the closet for so damn long.
Also, when you are in class drawing a naked model, which triggers your body dysphoria. And then you want to curl up in a ball silently.
When you're just on that line of androgynous that people cannot figure out whether you're MTF or FTM.
when your so excited that you're at your speech therapy appointment you forget that you needed to get a verification slip for the attendance clerk at work.
When you watched Disney princess films, you always wanted to be the prince. Or Mulan. Because let's face it, she is badass and what boy wouldn't want to be her?
When you pretended to be characters from the Incredibles, you told yourself (and others) that you always chose Violet because she was the oldest, but you really chose her because she's a girl
when you get home from work and cant wait to get the guy clothes off and dress properly. sitting by the fire now and so comfortable in a tee shirt and skirt ahhhh.....
When you stalker the facebook profile of the only trans person you know in real life and then meet him accidentally and burn in envy for his voice and all but - positive side - notice T can do miracles because he sounds like a bass. So I hardly keep myself from telling "hello-imma-guy" to my father, to profile settings on socials, to society. Because I'm not man enough according to stereotypes. Because I still don't have a job and act like a half-looser in my father's eyes, so he would laugh at me, so I'm not man enough for him (?). Because I have a pink wardrobe (a pink closet, just to make a pun) and care nothing about soccer (and that's a major sin in Italy LOL). Because I always have 20 minutes showers. Because I'm addicted to sweets. Because I was half feminine in childhood. Because... (lists other 40 stupid reasons). I may talk to him, the Observed Transguy. But why. There's no reason. He would just think "what do you want from me, who are you". We have a friend in common, but still. So I wait (for what?) and stalker his profile. And stalker the facebook profile of our friend in common, who is a butch lesbian by the way. (By "stalking" I mean reading all posts and watching all photos, not "disturbing" him some way.)
I had a similar experience of seeing a person i used to know who turns out is trans and oh man his voice... i was amazed at how deep it was. I really want a deeper voice, i can pass for the most part except for as soon as i speak... =(
i agree but to be honest i've only meet one tranns guy and real life. waskinda i afraid to talk to him but in the end he turn out to be pretty cool i want a deep voice i feel like having a deep voice well give me confidence