Hello... I already post this in a another forum but I need more advices. So i'm 16 and I discovered that i liked girls when i was 13. Before that, I always assume that I was straight, didnt think twice about it. But it seemed weird to me that I wasnt exicted about boys like all my other girl friends were: my biggest crush was on a boy when I was 9, and since then, nothing really, appart from lil "he's cute i guess " moments, and some celebrities crushes. So i asked myself why i just didnt care that much, and the question "could I be interessed in girls " crossed my mind, but i quickly pushed it away. Then I had to face it; i realized that the idea of kissing women was veeery apealing to me, that women attracted me, and for the first time I was actually excited to Might be in a relationship one day : i truly wanted it. I dated a girl that didnt assume her bisexuality, so it didnt last long, but it was really nice and being in a relationship with a girl is something i miss terribly. Girls have made me feel some really strong feelings, I had experiences a few times and im pretty sure I like them (and will for a while, maybe for my whole life). All my friends know , I never talked about it with my family and have no real attention to do so before a while. But when it comes to boys, idk what I feel. I can definitly recognize when a guy is cute : in fact, I look at boys as much as I look at girls in the street. But for the moment, i never had a guy who made me feel the same strong attraction that I have towards gurls. I can imagine myself with a guy I guess, but again its not something that i get real happy about , but its not something I would never consider: I have the intention to try to date guys. When I told to myself im pbly attracted to men , i doesnt really sounds like "me" because I spend the last few years discovering women. But the label bisexual is quite nice , and the lesbian one is too radical id say haha... I try not to put to many labels on myself but if I had to put one , I think I'd might take this one . My point is : can you be bisexual if you have this much of a preference? Again , I like guys , but I feel like they couldnt give me as much as women can. I just duno. Since I'm asking myself if I could be more of a lesbian than bi, when I see a guy, I always ask myself : "do i find him attractive?" and I have this sort of nervous feeling that confuses me.In the contrary, I have the huggest crush on a girl that's older than me, and when I see her I get super nervous, but a nervousness that I kind of like. Basically i'm weird, haha. Thank you if you take the time to help!
Recognizing that someone is attractive isn't the same as being attracted to someone. Sexual attraction is often lustful, leading to sexual thoughts and feelings. Recognizing that a guy is an attractive guy just isn't enough, and it sounds like from your post you already know that. You WANT to be attracted to guys because the lesbian label is so radical a notion to you, so you cling to the "bisexual" label and try to justify some sort of attraction to men, even though you already know it's a stretch. You are not weird. You know where your real attractions lie. Coming to terms with being a lesbian is a hurdle for you, as being gay was for me. Try to work on self-acceptance first. Take care.
wow... well thank you! I guess that you are right. But I feel so weird... like I had no idea of me being gay before, I thought I had crushes when I was younger... so it was just something I made up? I know being gay is not weird but my situation is weird to me. Again, I do believe that there is some truth in what you're saying, and I appreciate the support
I also want to tell you that you are just 16. I know that may sound annoying to hear that, but you'll understand when you're my age (48). You really are still so young. To be clear - I'm not trying to tell you that you are lesbian or bisexual, or any particular sexuality. I was only trying to feed back to you what I was getting from what you wrote. Only you can truly know your own sexuality. You have so much of life ahead of you. You don't have to settle on a label now. I only suggest that you pay attention to your attractions, be honest with yourself, and stop worrying. You'll figure it all out in time. Take care.
