Well, the victory I'm about to tell you it's not mine, but it made me smile and I think it's worth sharing It start with a sad news: last week, on the italian beach, four men raped a female tourist and hurt her boyfriend. Then, not happy with what they have done, they went away and raped a trans woman prostitute. When the italian news reported all this, they pratically ignored the trans woman: they only mentioned about her being another victim of the group and then misgendered her without shame The victory is that it turned out that the trans woman is helping the police A LOT, to the point that thanks to her now they know the identity of at least one of the rapers so they will probably be able to catch them oh, and in the article where they reported about her being helpful for the investigation they finally talked about her using the right gender pronouns and word endings
I tried on my black tee and grey button up with my makeshift unsafe binder and i liked it! The makeshift binder obviously isn't safe and its not as slimming as i hoped but i think it helped some. Just from my decade old locker mirror in my room it looked good. DIdn't have a safe chance to look at iti n the bathroom mirror. Need to buy my own back of the door mirror so trying on clothes with binding methods is easier. I googled some hopefully safe methods and i'm gonna go shopping before work and see what i can find. If i can find something i can wear late at night in my room for an hour or two a night, i'll be happy with just that. I've wrote down ideas like sports bras, compression bras, neoprene trimmers, and mens/womens compression shirts. And of course my list of mens grooming/hygiene products. I figure if i just use them on my off days, i might be able to get away with it. Hopefully.
Signed up for insurance, and will have it in a week or two. Have been seeing a therapist on campus who has been immensely helpful, that I can comfortably talk to. He referred me to the clinic in this city who treat trans people. So maybe, in a few weeks, I will be taking real steps towards getting on T.
I'm allowed to wear the uniform made for guys for all of my performances now, I'm so freaking happy. At the beginning of the season I tried to ask coach about this but she didn't seem very open to the idea, but yesterday she surprised me by giving me my new uniform and giving a speech to everyone on the team about how they need to be respectful of me and also stand with me if people start being transphobic.
I know this isn't much, but i'm so excited and i wanted to share this with someone! Today i wore one of my two men's department t-shirts and because i bought a tail comb i was trying to style my hair. Failed, but i did succeed in doing a bit of a side bang fringe with my dumb schoolgirl bangs, and with the beanie i have on i really liked the look! I really want to see it with my hair cut and a binder on and see what i think. But the feeling of contentness and feeling relaxed looking at myself in the bathroom mirror instead of tense and uneasy...its reassured me that whatever i end up deciding i am, this is something that despite the fear of getting disovered and rejected, i need to do. At a user's suggestion, i'm gonna buy a binder through amazon. Bought a fabric tape measure so did all the measurements so i can get the right size. Testing it by buying dvds and manga first though, then when i'm confident mom won't open my packages before i can get to them i'll order a binder. I'll have to order it when i get two days off in a row though just to be safe. Eitherways, i'm so excited! This just feels right to me and its one step closer to my current goal. All i want is to be able to look in the mirror at my reflection and recognize myself, and feel content and happy and proud and whatever you're supposed to feel instead of uneasy and ashamed and shy for no apparent reason whatsoever.
woke up this morning with dysphoria kicking my butt. i couldnt just hide at home today as we had an engagement in the city where my son was getting a scholarship for University from Pflag so what to do? i said F* it, and put on a bra, that took the edge off and we went and surprised him with a large scholarship. so that's 2 victories i beat my dysphoria by under dressing more than usual and my son had a hugh leg up in his education
Just out of curiosity how did you figure out your skin tone. It always bug me that with so many shades I don't know what to go for. I did earlier in the year get the courage to ask the girl in Debenhams. She checked for me and gave me a sample bottle of what she thought would be the right tone. But now I can't remember the make only that it was pure beige. However different makes are called different shades so I'm no better off. A shame as I saw Avon doing a foundation I wanted to try but not sure which to order.
You can find lots of tests to "diagnose" it yourself on the internet. That's what I did, but I don't remember the specific one I used. Victory; I wore a sports bra all day. That's the first time I've ever worn one for anything more than running, and I must say they are comfy, and it definitely does make me feel better to at least be dressed properly underneath. Plus, I have some serious development (I'm a full on A cup, but probably getting close to a B), and they're impossible to hide without one.
Still don't know what I am. I have yet another possibility to ponder now cause Brad replied to a thread and explained what trans-masculine was. The only progress i've made physically is taking the steps i need to take so that eventually i can buy a binder sometime this month. I got a mirror for my door and i ordered a few things i wanted/needed to order to test my mom's reaction to me getting packages. And to get her used to me ordering stuff. I already picked out the one i'm gonna order. Other than that, I've just been trying to push myself to be more like myself at work with the customers. Well i'm labeling it in my head as acting like a guy but it feels like me, like me without being so keyed up and anxious. Simple stupid shit like being more polite, helping them with their bags, and talking myself out of taking something too personally and getting upset and letting it ruin my day. I think no matter what i end up identifying as, these are good steps to take, good changes to be making.
Currently on my way to stay with a friend because I've got an appointment with a gender clinic tomorrow afternoon.
A friend (a girl) complains about "how guys behave" and how they should behave, and inserts me in the cathegory, slipping with the wrong (right) endings before two people I'm not out to (but I didn't care xD), just for one minute of «wat» weirdness. That's not exactly a victory (?) but it's a little comic and reminds me of this tale (copied here from internet because it's phrased well): "Once there was a disciple of a Greek philosopher who was commanded by his Master for three years to give money to everyone who insulted him. When this period of trial was over, the Master said to him: Now you can go to Athens and learn wisdom. When the disciple was entering Athens he met a certain wise man who sat at the gate insulting everybody who came and went. He also insulted the disciple who immediately burst out laughing. Why do you laugh when I insult you? said the wise man. Because, said the disciple, for three years I have been paying for this kind of thing and now you give it to me for nothing. Enter the city, said the wise man, it is all yours"
It really does. The only thing I don't like is still having to wear a sports bra to keep them flat....but hey that's temporary right?