It seems like people expect gay people to constantly sexualize people. I don't really notice the same expectation for straight people. When I tried to come out as gay, a lot of people asked me if I have sexual feelings for girls. I do feel attracted for girls, but my feelings generally aren't super sexual. I wouldn't mind having sex with the girls I get attracted to, it's just not something I really think about. Attraction is also a bit on the rare side for me. I've met plenty of straight people that feel attraction like me, but no one ever thinks they're weird.
When you are bi it seems to be worse because people think that you are going to try it with everyone and that you can't commit to one person
It is worse for guys as either you are assumed to be a molester or that you dream about sex with every man. I can't tell you how many times I have been cornered by a guy who assumed I wanted it and would be better at one thing in particular than their wives. (usually a married for years). I don't know where guys get that idea from but it is annoying. June
I'm gay, and yet I tend to be the most sex-repulsed, sexually conservative person I know in my circle. Yes, it surprises people. I'm mistaken for asexual all the time.
For gay men this is especially a problem. Two guys doesn't equal 'couple' or 'love', but 'anal sex'. Some people fetisihize gay guys' sex life more than even themselves! The scarce representation of LGBT in the media (which, when it does happen, usually only aggravates the stereotypes) doesn't help either. It's ridiculous how many people still believe love is for straight couples while animalistic sex is the only way to go for everyone else.
I personally do have a very strong libido, always have, even when I was straight. But no matter what my orientation, I'm not the kind of person to go out and be promiscuous. I prefer intimacy and exclusivity in my relationships. And I'll admit too, it's still a bit difficult for even me to think of other gay men outside the anal sex stigma. But that awkward knee-jerk thought has gradually been going away for some time, especially as I now embrace my own gayness more.
People think of gay people this way because they are too ignorant and close-minded to accept diversity.
I am attracted to a lot of girls, but my feelings are not super sexual. Sometimes they are sexual, but I am more likely to have romantic feelings.
It is a false assumption, and doesn't really make sense when you think about it. Gay people are no more sex-crazed than straight people. It is almost like, if you are not straight, you have a "novelty" sexuality and so suddenly people get curious or have all these absurd notions floating around in their heads (such as from media representation). Myself, I am sometimes attracted to men but would overwhelmingly identify as asexual.
I guess that makes sense. It's soooo strange that I'm attracted to girls and aware of it. It must be because I constantly sexualize girls.
I tend to think that some people come to their opinions by what they see on TV when it comes to a gay portrayal. For instance, I remember watching the TV series "Queer As Folk" with a straight friend and while watching several episodes, my friend mentioned the show seemed to depict how gay guys think about nothing but sex, drugs and house music. I also remember this show awhile ago which was a softcore movie and it featured these gay characters. What happened midway through was a series of missing people occurred and one of the main gay characters mentioned his only concern at that moment was getting laid because he was extremely horny. By mentioning these examples...I am saying that many people draw their conclusion by what they see or hear. Whether its just fictional or not...the stereotype is drawn from these assumptions. However, not all gay people are like this.
Because anything than procreative heterosexual sex with lights off is deviant and deviants are dangerous crazy sex beasts. Nevermind Joseph Fritzl and the like.
Yeah, I think it has something to do with how gay men have been portrayed in the media, and how they've been pathologized as perverted by the medical community for decades. There IS some truth to gay male culture being a bit sex obsessed, but then... men in general are to blame for that. Because of having to hide and prove their manhood, there are unhealthy practices that heterosexuals don't have to worry about. Then you have people obsessing over the details of sexual acts, as if that's the only thing to it. Sort of how people obsess over transgender genitalia. They home in on a more physical level. Perhaps a part of it is curiosity: they can't imagine how someone can have sex that doesn't involve a man and a woman, or a penis and a vagina. They obviously aren't into it, so there might be some amusement and surprise involved. I like to think they're projecting their own obsessions onto others.
I'd say also selective reporting and news spread on social networks Any time I recall seeing pics from a gay parade, it was shared by a homophobe from a fetishist gay parade along with deprecating comment along the line: 'look at these degenerates'. You get the gist. Shouldn't be hard, because homosexual don't do anything, that hetero aren't doing as well. Oral (especially), anal, fingering. Any non-reproductive sex, really. Sex police would have their hands full with the reports on the unnatural sexual practices of homophobes, I'm sure. :lol:
I see this stereotype mostly for gay guys... and it's pretty much true in my experience. In our culture men are supposed to be the sex-crazed ones, and it makes sense evolutionarily because ejaculating is not much investment compared to carrying a baby to term. Although, this isn't really completely relevant nowadays... so it kinda makes sense that gay guys are hyper sexual for the most part. And I think people ask about sexual attraction when you come out because they can understand feeling attached to both sexes since they probably have friends of both sexes but they want to know if you have sexual feelings for the same sex because they think that sort of "proves" you're gay.
I think Austin has it right. Men are biologically more inclined to have higher sex drives, in part because of testosterone. From an evolution perspective, the men were the ones who had conquests of multiple female partners, to increase population. And today, some of this is still socialized... men are expected by other men (and by media portrayals to be "on the prowl" and to talk of their conquests, and to be driven more toward sex than toward emotional closeness and tenderness. So when you put two gay men together, you have an increased hormonal chance of both having strong sex drives, and a societal pressure to act out sexually. Of course... gay men on the whole are given more permission to be emotionally expressive, but the dominant patterns still exist. Those behaviors aren't always the case, but are pretty common.
I am actually kind of a very sexual person and always have been. Now I understand the other side of the argument as I understand not everyone has a high sex drive. Some of us have low sex drives, I thought I had a low sex drive but after learning about BDSM, I am a very horny boy. Not from watching porn though, it happens more when I read erotica.
I recall reading somewhere that the idea that a particular disfavored minority population (whichever one(s) is disfavored in a particular period in history) is 'sex crazed' and/or possessed of greater than 'normal' sexual appetites, prowess, or endowment is one that has popped up repeatedly throughout history. The target of it changes, but the basic idea keeps recurring in one form or another. Todd
I can have a pretty high sex drive. I don't think about sex all the time, but when I'm reminded about it, oh boy, I can get so horny.
I think about this sometimes and I might have an answer. Gay relationships obviously don't produce children naturally which is why many homophobes consider homosexuality to be unnatural. Therefore, when people look at gays, they essentially see us as people who really only date people because it results in a type of sex that we enjoy and nothing else. I know it doesn't make a whole lot of sense but it's just how I imagine people look at us.