I dwell on the things that I want and don't have rather than being fully grateful for the things that I have that I've worked so hard to achieve. Yet I see one instance or rehash of something that I want and I completely revert to the same endless cycle of longing, envy and internal bitterness to the world that is fully caused by my own unwillingness to change.
Ugh I have to go to the dentist. I'm going to ask him about Invisalign, my wisdom teeth, and teeth grinding because I feel like whenever I have bad dreams I'm always grinding my teeth.
I can't find my mother. I also can't find the frying pan. So not only can I not make myself breakfast, I'm also worrying about where the literal hell my mom is. Still no word over the internship either. I need some chill. :tears:
Imagining what it would be like if I could grow fancy facials like a really curly mustache or a beard .. or maybe both! *le gasp* *scribbles on face with washable marker*
At some point during the day I crushed a spider to death between my thighs and it has been hanging out on my jeans, near my crotch, ever since. I noticed it just now when I sat in my car.
I bought this notebook two weeks ago, for the particular purpose of doing... something. I bought it for a particular reason, but now I can't remember what the reason is. For the life of me, I can't remember what the hell I bought it for. I doodled the hell out of the entire cover, made it into a work of art, and yet haven't written a single solitary word inside of it. Oh, well. It's a notebook. I'll find something to use it for.
1) Everything I even slightly liked about myself has been knocked down and obliterated by myself and others 2) I have failed so much already, especially the lengths I have gone to try and do something wrong for such petty reasons 3) Whats the point if everything is meaningless, we won't remember it, it won't effect anything, it's a fucking game 4) player 2 might quit the game or try to escape for a little bit
Why is YouTube suggesting all this conspiracy theorist/uber-religious doomsday prophecy crap-ola? Do I look like a tinfoil hat lunatic? Also, what in the HELL is up with suggesting the channel of a known racist and anti-Semite? :bang: I'd literally rather gouge my own eyeballs out with a fork, or go dance the samba butt-naked in the middle of Times Square in a thunderstorm with a lightning rod strapped to my ass. Just because I watched a TYT segment about said racist asshole six months ago DOES NOT MEAN I want to go and actually see what that unhinged thunderbastard has to say. I know what he has to say and I'm not interested. All this is more or less a side-note to the fact that I got myself semi-hammered in the hopes of getting something done on my novel and I only got half a page done. Fuck my life. Waste of two hours and half a bottle of vodka. :dry: