It only makes sense to mistake the cutest ones as having a compatible orientation, because wishful thinking is a powerful force no matter what you find attractive... Going by experiences with my wife, I think I can insist that being overstuffed with pizza makes an ensuing make-out session extremely unlikely. That said, cute story; did you two hit it off at all? Funny you should say that... When playing that “gaydar” game I mentioned earlier, I was consistently MUCH better at picking out the not-so-straight females. I think it may be because of the company I have coincidentally kept. I believe I've had more gay female friends, and have spoken much more with them. I'm not particularly sure why it's ended up being like that. *big shrug* Makes sense. Most people are better at picking out others like themselves, regardless of what type of person they are. Consequently, I'm pretty sure my “geekdar” is much more accurate than my “gaydar”...
I think there's definitely something - I am into energy/the feeling you get around people, and I think that's more where it's at, at least for me. When I was younger I just thought it would be this immediate "yup, that's a friend of Dorothy!!!" but in reality, it's more that there's just something that clicks. I'm usually right - but nothing is perfect. Stereotypes do help, but there's also subtle things that help, like who they make eye contact with, body language, etc.
To some extent. I think I have a horrible gaydar, but then it could be better than I thought. First of all, why do people even care?
It's harder to tell if women are gay or not in my experience. Lesbians can be feminine (and many are), so relying on butch stereotypes isn't always accurate. Even flirting and eye contact don't mean anything all of the time. I know straight women who flirt as a joke, and lesbians who are shy and private people that don't know how to show attraction.
i think that straight people using their "gaydar" is spooky, since it's basically a way to sort us, if that makes any sense. with lgbt people it's different, since you're looking for people similar to you instead of different, if that makes any sense? there's a tumblr post on it here that was really nice.
I do believe gaydar is a thing I don't think it's 100% accurate but so far all the femme women I have met that I had a strong feelings were gay or bi happened to be. I don't know I can mostly tell due to the way they look at me/other women or the vibe they send (I swear there is a gay vibe! haha ).
Yeah, that's the most annoying part :/ Women are more "free" to show affection, sometimes bordering on queer territory, yet harder to determine. I think maybe a part of it might be how much attention male gayness receives, so all the stereotypes are well-known (society is pretty sensitive towards those who appear "feminine" in any way). The only surefire method for me is that most of my female crushes were lesbian, or at least bisexual.
You guys have really interesting responses. I was kinda skeptical of the idea at first, but now I kind of believe there is one. You're right; it's much easier for guys. Unfortunately for me though :/ still trying to decide if a certain someone is gay or not lmao. But I'm thinking maybe bi
That's very interesting! I often am more comfortable with people that are gay as well (even when I don't know they're gay) , since they often are honest, mature, and sympathetic people. Also, gay friends my age happen to have more similar interests/hobbies that I have.
I agree and I think gaydar works most accurately when the person really wants you to guess they are gay. If they don't I believe it's not too hard for a gay person to pass as straight if they want to. I'm a woman and while I admit to gender bias I think more gay women are "passing as straight" then the number of gay men "passing as straight" -- successfully I mean. I mean, if a woman winks at me or pats me on the ass, I'm pretty sure she's gay but only 99% certain, lol. :lol:
I'm usually good at guessing someone's sexuality from just a few significant interactions with someone. But, I can't always tell from a stranger that I may have only passed by or said hello. I don't fully believe in gaydar... I think the best way to guess is through their behaviors and the only way to know for sure is if they say they are what you think they may be. I'm usually good at reading people anyway...very observant person.
Today there are so many metrosexual people out there that having a gaydar, for me doesnt really mean much.
Not that I know of. I'm really bad at guessing it. I've already had plenty of people come out to me, who I never would have guessed. It's so hard to tell these days. You have to say it to my face for me to know.
No, at least not personally. It is based on stereotypes which is inherently harmful to everyone involved. I don't come off as gay to anyone, so their pre-conceptions of a gaydar is shattered.