I came across this article on Facebook this morning and was curious what others in the community thought about it. It's about a phenomenon in rural areas known as "bud-sex," where "straight men... have sex with other men, but don’t identify as gay." Here's the link to the article: Straight Men Are Hooking Up And Calling It 'Bud-Sex' Thoughts?
I only think It's strange that straight women can hook up with other women, still call themselves straight, and nobody bats an eye. If straight men want to do the same, more power to them.
I don't see how this is possible unless they were desperate for a release. If a man willingly seeks another man for sex, then he isn't straight. Now, if a man has sex with another man while in prison, or if no women were left on the planet, then I could understand the possibility that they're still straight (if they get off better when having sex with another person, rather than by masturbation). Maybe even if they get oral from another man while imagining a woman doing it, then I can understand the possibility of that man being straight. But, to me, it's just not possible for a man to willingly seek another man for sex and still identify as straight. He could be bicurious. He could also prefer women. But heterosexual means that someone is only attracted to the opposite gender. I agree with Creativemind. Women who do that are usually either bicurious, bisexual but prefer men, in denial, or just doing it to impress a man (a lot of men love lesbians). There's no such thing as someone being straight and wanting to have sex with the same gender.
I would say it's possible if you're under the mindset that you just want release no matter who it's from. There's straight-id men who does this with other straight-id men all because they want a release immediately, and same with women version, and hell even there are homosexuals does it with the opposite sex. That's all because they want a quick release as soon as possible.
This is the problem with labels, they try to define and categorize people but ultimately they're arbitrary. In the past no one used such labels, only being coined more recently. People claim sexuality is fixed and/or fluid, 'mostly' straight guys can still have that 5% part of them that's interested but quantifying it is too difficult. I can see a future where labels won't exist again, and it'll just be people doing people things. It's all really silly imo.
I'm still laughing on the Bud-Sex thing.....sorry for that! Small town shit is funny as fuck when you sit back and look at it. I'm from a small town and I like boys and girls. You don't just have sexual relationships because of whatever.
In my opinion...this is just another excuse to validate guys who tend to have an interest in being sexually physical with a guy but doesn't want to validate or own it full on. I find this to be ridiculous due to the fact that for centuries...so many gay guys have been abandoned by their families and friends due to their attraction to men and just the thought of having sex with another man had caused physical violence and ridicule for so many of them for wanting to be accepted and embraced by the masses. All of a sudden...here you have some closeted straight guys who are somewhat in denial about their attraction to men and they make up this facade and what do you know...they are trying to make this an acceptable trend. To conclude...from my upbringing it has always been explained to me that guys who engage in sexual acts with other guys are gay. Guys who have sexual contact with men and women are bisexual. None of this other b.s. to excuse or validate it...it is what it is plain and simple.
I feel like these "straight men" are saying that they're straight, because they don't want to come out as gay. Either they're to afraid, or something of the sort.
I really hope religious groups don't take advantage of this and say "SEE! It IS! a choice!" Because that's kinda what their making it look like. In my opinion at least...
I think this has the possibility to be a good thing, in disagreement with some other posters here. It could lower stigma if it were to become somewhat of a trend (and even if it weren't a significantly popular trend, exposure to alternate forms of sex/sexualities is still a win in my book). The more open people are about sex then the less people will care about labels. The less people care about being gay/lesbian the less people are against it and the more that will support things like adoption/marriage/other rights.
(Shrugs) Good for them. Not everyone needs a label. I just hate that people feel they need to be closeted because of bigotry. As long as it's consenting adults let them live.
This has nothing to do with judging someone. It is completely factual. I don't care what consenting adults do. But there's absolutely no way a completely straight man can willingly seek another man for sex unless he's unable to have a woman.
And even if he can't have a woman there's always masturbation. Not being a guy, I asked my straight BF about so called Bud sex among straight guys. He laughed and said, "No," and basically said the same thing you and others have said. Not even when you've been in the desert for weeks or months.
I mean...I sort of agree with what others are saying. As a Kinsey 6 person, I could NEVER imagine sleeping with another man, EVER, even if I was desperate. I'd rather be celibate forever than touch a guy. So I don't understand why a straight guy can enjoy sex with men and call himself straight. On the other hand, It's only straight men who are judged for not being real heterosexuals if they sleep with the non preferred gender. I see so many "lesbians" on this site who sleep with men for fun or for pleasure, ....but how are you a lesbian if you do that? I'm called homophobic, biphobic, sexist, and wrong for pointing out they aren't really lesbians but are instead bisexual or bicurious. Same if I point out that you can't be a straight woman if you sleep with women and enjoy it, and you can't be a gay man if you sleep with women and enjoy it (exceptions only if you're closeted). So why is it ok to say straight men aren't straight after being with men but wrong to say lesbians aren't lesbians after being with men (in non closeted situations)?
I thought this too. But I also heard that some men can't get off on masturbation. I was watching a prison documentary on homosexual sex within prisons and one guy said he craves women all day long, but that he can only get off by penetration or oral sex from another person, and that he picks the smallest, "prettiest" man he can and has sex with him. He said it's almost like having a woman. He said it's not completely the same, but it's good enough when you're desperate. Makes me wonder, lol. I agree. If someone is sleeping with the opposite sex for pleasure (unless they're unable to have a same sex partner), then they aren't completely gay; same goes for women. Some people get so offended by labels. But they're wrong for judging us on our preference for a label. I like labels because it helps me understand people. I do, however, wonder if the same goes for porn stars. I heard that some straight men don't desire another man, but have sex with them in pornos just for money. Are they able to climax just from the stimulation alone? Maybe they have to imagine it being a woman?