Congratulations (!) In all honesty this thread is just what I needed to hear today. I've been in such a whirlwind of emotion since coming out, I've been questioning my sexuality again. Partially because people are telling me that I'm confused and I let them get to me because I feel bad for making them hurt. But in my heart I know the truth I am gay. I just need to stand up for myself. I just don't want to be the cause of anyone's pain.
Don't forget the guy in the mirror. Do you want to be responsible for his pain because you didn't stand up and fight for what he really values? I know it's tough when you first come out because you feel responsible for hurting others. Your wife and children will bounce back. If you're like me, you're in denial/the closet because you didn't want to disappoint anyone by being different. Guess what, there's only one way to fix that - you have to stand up and advocate for yourself. You may disappoint the people around you initially. Over time they may even be proud of you for finding the courage to live authentically. Be gay, be proud ride:
We often know we're a bit more complicated than labels might suggest, but it can be useful to just go for the best choice and make it fit for the sake of simplicity & understanding. You know you're more than just a label but a best-fit option has it's uses as well. It sounds like you've figured yourself out a little more too, which is always a step forward. Congratulations!
Thanks Clustergazelle and Zen fix! ---------- Post added 14th Jul 2016 at 01:18 PM ---------- Thanks BlueSteel Just like Siennafire said, please take care of you. I know how much guilt and blame you feel. But try not to let it take you down a rabbit hole. You made a great step coming out to your wife. Be kind to you and be proud. ---------- Post added 14th Jul 2016 at 01:20 PM ---------- Thanks QuestionMark! I do feel like I'm figuring myself out more and more. Feeling good about who I am. ride:
Hi I ran away from here for the second time but have been lurking..I was going to come back and post here that "I am really not gay" it was some fantasy or something... and read this post yesterday, and the waves of emotion and warmth start, and whatever I was telling myself starts to fall apart. ...but how do we know this emotional rush is real? Am I just creating some fantasy world? That is what I am starting to feel- that it's not just sexual but it is deepest most passionate thing I feel and to say 'bi' puts them on equal terms. but I just don't feel that deep sexual passion... I just don't know if it's real. But I feel if i can say " and really mean it and don't look back it would feel that way. But tomrrow, who knows? I have seen the roller coaster you're on, but realistically not all rollercoasters end up in the same place, do they? i can go through the roller coaster and realize i am not gay.
(*hug*) Findingjoy, I'm so glad to see you on here again. You're at a really difficult stage right now, wrestling with so many feelings. So first, be easy on yourself. Second, be proud of yourself; it seems to me that somewhere deep down you know the answer, and it takes guts for you to face your fears and try to understand yourself better. I think that in this stage of your journey, it's helpful to take things one step at a time, one day at s time. Perhaps taking one day to just "be gay", and see how it feels. (This is something another poster suggested on another thread). Just live with assumption for a day, give eye contact to men you see in your daily routine, think about what you like about the men you see, when you're alone fantasise about men.once you've gotten through that day, perhaps you can try to continue it for the next day, or take a break and come back to it again the next day. Think about how it makes you feel, to "be gay" for the day. I think that the feelings that come up through that might help you learn some things thst help you sort through this a bit better. I'm so glad to hear thst my posts resonate you. Keep coming back and reading and posting ---------- Post added 16th Jul 2016 at 05:10 AM ---------- Thanks whiz bang! Yes it is liberating, it feels good and right, and just life seems clearer.
I kind of feel the same way. It makes my interactions with both genders throughout my entire life make more sense. I'm way more affectionate to other guys, there's no getting around it, and affection is the root of sexuality. Tbh, I find myself moving away from the bisexual label.
I'm so happy for you.. i wish i'd arrive at that state already.. ---------- Post added 22nd Jul 2016 at 06:34 AM ---------- Im happy for you.. I hope I get there already.. In my case, its always been like a tug and pull in my case.. but Im really happy for you..
