I feel like sh*t right now

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Barista, it all just truly sucks until you get to the other side of wherever you currently are!

I found a lot of comfort and encouragement reading Cheryl Strayed. In one of her advice columns she talks about the decisions we make and can't undo such as having children, and those decisions put us on a certain "ship" until the end of our life. The opposite decision (in her example not having children) will always be there as a ghost ship as we chart our course, but we can never board that ship, so why worry about it?

She said,"I'll never know, and neither will you, of the life you don't choose. We'll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn't carry us. There's nothing to do but salute it from the shore.”

― Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar

So try not to obsess, it will be ok eventually. Try to be kind to yourself.

 

It's true. I don't remember how old your daughter is, but it's very young, I believe. Mostly likely she won't remember that sort of thing. I missed a significant amount of time due to my military service, but that didn't seem to cause any issues. I think it made me a better parent, actually. Well, maybe not better, but more attentive and more aware that time with your child is precious.

Don't ask her about my parenting right now...she'll tell you I'm the worst mom in the world.

 

Perhaps because I'm finding that my foray to being around bisexual women has not resulted in anything other than new friends (yay!) and one whom I think I may have pushed away because I hit a little too hard on the innuendo, or let her know I had some feelings. (She started with the flirting, dammit!)

I don't know what life is like for gay men, or for women who launch into a life of only women. But my experience has been, it's really fucking hard to have a sexual and intimate relationship with a woman. I feel like I opened myself up to it very early on, but nothing ever came of it. Yeah, I got involved with men because they were interested and willing, and genitals never did matter that much to me.

This is a downer and I don't mean it to be.

I guess I am thinking, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush? Only marginally not intending the double entendre there.

I don't see you as a failure at all. Accepting yourself is the real success in life. Not what it looks like on the outside. So much of the outside we can't control.

Just my cynical opinion, I guess. :dry:

I think you're awesome, blossom.