Hey, wonderful people of EC. If you have a sibling/siblings do you often get compared to them? Do you get on with them? I have a sibling- one older sister in fact. It's always annoying get compared to her, and I feel like I constantly have to prove to others that I have a separate identity. It seems like whatever I do, she's already done it. and chances are she's done it better. I hate that my teachers always expected me to do just as well or as terrible as her in that particular subject. And she hates being compared to me as well, particularly when people say that we sound the same. I hate that they think that'll grow up to be like her, don't get me wrong I have nothing against my sister it's just I want to be recognised as my own person and I know that there are certain expectations that I can never live up to. But hey, the people around me are used to me being a disappointment, so I guess they'll come round to it. Anyone else going through something similar/can relate in any way?
I have an older sister, she's 28. We both get compared to each other, because our personalities are remarkably similar. We're both outgoing and have a tendency to get angry quickly. In the past, when I've gotten angry, or lost my temper, my mother would say 'You're just like your sister'. No, it doesn't bother me. Neither of us feel pressured to act more like the other because we're already so similar anyway. We've occasionally clashed, but we get along well in general.
I have an older sister, she's either 16 or 17. Apparently we have the same nose. I hate her with a passion.
I have a sister who is two years younger than me. Ever since we were little, we've always been sort of competing because we're good at the same things, and our parents only had time for so-and-so much recognition, if that makes sense. It was hard, and at times I felt like my parents loved her more. Especially when I was a teen, and my mom would sometimes yell at me to be more like her... Even now, even though I love her beyond words, I still to this day feel like we're in some sort of unspoken one-up competition. The only thing I'm better than her at is writing. She's a good writer too, but I spell better and I'm quicker to learn languages, and I find some sort of selfish solace in the fact that she'll never out-compete me in that.
I have one elder brother. We're quite similar and get along well, but we have different sets of skills that make comparison needless. He's a brilliant mathematician but he's only bilingual and he's a poor public speaker. Because he and I have different areas of academic ability, it's never been necessary to compete too much there. We haven't gone to the same schools and I won't be going to his uni or studying anything like what he does, so there's even less possible friction. Even in other areas, we don't need to compete. His charity work is very hands-on; he volunteers for an emergency and rescue service and will spend a full day sorting clothes for charity shops. I raise money and coordinate in my volunteering. We can both appreciate one another's abilities without competition, partly because our skills tend to be complementary and we're both good at what we do. We don't presume to 'own' the areas we excel in, but we consult one another when we know the other will be more experienced or competent. A friend of mine described us as a sibling power-couple. I think what helps us to be good brothers to each other is that we communicate and we prioritise that relationship; we bond together against our mother when she hints at any favouritism and even when we're testy with one another we don't betray confidences. I think to have a good relationship with a sibling, you mustn't treat that relationship as reliant on external factors such as parents and you should celebrate each other's achievements. It's harder to have tensions about how parents and teachers view you compared to your sibling when you really know your sibling values you.
With me I always thought that me and my sister were miles apart from each other in personality, until I realised that we're actually quite similar and that she used to act like me when she was younger and then she changed quite dramatically. There's always the joke in my family that I'm the adopted one ( I'm not but I'm quite different so). I would get comments like "you'll be like your sister one day" and that we'll get on better in a few years when we're closer in terms of age. We tend to clash a lot, but we still get on in an odd sort of sibling like way.
My situation is the exact opposite. They think my elder brothers are total failures and expect so much upon me. I am also afraid that if I come out I will be bullied by them.
My sister used to be protective of me - and I remember her offering to beat anyone up if they gave me grief in primary school - though as we've gotten older, our relationship changed - which is inevitable I think, especially given our age gap. When I entered adolescence, we started clashing more, but I ended up acting similar to her and emulating a lot of what she did - not intentionally, but it's just what happened - but I was probably more rebellious than she was because my mother never had as much trouble with her as she did with me. I don't even remember the last time we clashed over anything. She lives in a different city now mind you.
I have an older sister, she's 22 years old. We used to be compared quite a bit when we were younger and it did bother me since my parents would just listen to my sister's opinion. But once we grew up and developed our different personalities, that hasn't happened as much. We get along with each other extremely well to the point of people constantly believing that we're either a couple or twins.
My sister is still protective over me, but in terms of fights I would always offer in primary school to beat people up if she ever got in trouble, despite the fact I'm younger. Which I'm sure seemed rather cute to others.
I have an older sister (36) and an older brother (26), but I very seldom get compared to either of them. We get along relatively fine, I mean we have arguments and times when we don't speak to each other, but overall our relationships are pretty solid.
I have 7 siblings. They range from ages 4 months to 22 years old. Six brothers and one sister, and I am third born. All live at home, and immediately surrounding me in age are brothers, my only sister is 10 years younger and she is practically a clone of my mother. I don't usually get compared to them... And as for getting on? Well that depends on which one(s) were talking about. I'm somewhat of a hermit so I'm not particularly close to any of them, nor do I get involved in their conflicts.
One younger sister by three years. We used to be close, but now she acts like a little brat. She annoys me very much, even though we are family. Everyone says we look just like each other, which I don't think is true at all. She is around 4'6" and I'm 5'1", she has wavy hair while my hair is a curly, frizzy mess, she is very outgoing while I am more shy and introverted. We might have some similar characteristics, but we aren't perfect matches of each other like everyone seems to think.
I'm really young myself, and my sister is 9. Still, I absolutely hate when people compare me to her... "You're exactly like her" "You are her, just , older" I hate things like that because I hate being "exactly like" somebody. I don't want to be them, I want to be me. When people say that, I feel kind of, not myself...if that makes sense at all. I don't mind when someone says I share the traits of someone admirable, but when I'm exactly like them I feel, invalidated, almost. It's stupid. She's really smart, I am too, but well, it seems like she'll grow up more intelligent (School wise, maturity, she's too young for me to be able to tell) And, well, when people compare my music-playing to hers, well that infuriates me. It's what I do, and for her, it's that my parents force her to take lessons and she impresses people once in a while. And I was way better than her at her age, but people are more impressed with her...on many things. I guess I'm just jealous sometimes.
I have a younger brother. I get asked if I am sure we are related (I only study for some exams, and get A's, he studies for hours and gets D's and up).
I have a younger sister (26). We're pretty much opposites in about everything: She's a people pleaser, I'm a people helper. She's book smart, I'm street smart. She plans her day around how others will perceive her, I plan my days around whatever I'm going to do. She follows directions to the letter, I always look for faster/better ways to achieve completion. She is quick to complain and give up if things don't go how she wants almost immediately, while I am willing to wait it out and get through obstacles. She doesn't know how to bite her tongue when furious, I do, because she sees the current picture and I see the big picture. She dislikes me because everything seems to come easy for me; easy job with good pay, problems arise and they're solved quickly, and so on. And I dislike her because she is still the favorite of our parents, only because of the circumstances going on when I was born. With one exception in this family, which is I'm smarter than her, they give her the benefit each and every time. She is the favorite BY FAR. This has pros and cons, like a con is, obviously, she has more windows of opportunity to utilize (and doesn't, which pisses me off, because I'd kill for those), and a pro is, well, I don't have to deal with anybody that doesn't want to deal with me. So, it's kind of a win-win. Really, the only time we're compared is when folks remark on how uniquely we responded, to how we were raised. And then it usually goes back to her, unless my family is talking about how bad/unruly/terrible I was. They really enjoy discussing that, but to be fair, I was pretty horrible with them. Like, really horrible.
I'm the oldest of four sisters, two of them stepsisters. One is a literal baby, 2 years, and the rest are sort of your typical conformist indoctrinated types I have nothing in common with anymore. I'm the "smart" one according to them, but they still disregard all of my advice for some reason. Probably because I'm not too easy to look at, and people here are shallow. My other family members are known for "looking good" with the exception of me. And I'm the only one without perfect health, Genetics can be cruel. I know it could have been worse, but I'm still jealous of their luck. They're actually rather aggressive too, so I just keep to myself. Though the majority of the family has given up on me, my oldest sister who is two years younger (16) still speaks to me at least. Sure, we have nothing in common but it's still nice sometimes. Even though I'm two years older she's incredibly strong, and can easily pick me up like a weight. That sort of sucked growing up since I kind of had to do whatever she wanted if I wasn't going to get tossed around the room a bit. Glad she stopped channeling the aggression on me. My other sisters are very young, 2 and 9. So 9 is the second oldest, and she already has a bigger disciplinary record than the other three of us combined. I try to tolerate her destructive nature and let it pass, though it really gets on my nerves when she smashes my discs or game systems, electronics and such. My 16 year old sister doesn't take it well at all, and they're constantly fighting. Sheesh! I went on a bit too much, ahaha~