What are you thinking?

Why is it when you think everything is good, something bad has to happen… uggggggggggggghhhhhhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

This depression is on and off and I want to stop thinking about suicidal thoughts but I just can't.

 

Since when did the weekends become busy and exhausting and not relaxing what it should be like)? Oh right, bc someone had the glorious idea to buy a house and move...
This would have been acceptable but i forgot my fucking earplugs!!!

 

Sisters Graduation Party is today. Going to that then I can go home and watch more PLL!

 

don't know how long since I last posted

haven't been feeling great lately, haven't been posting much :/

 

Why can't people be nice for once? Is being nice and decent to other people to hard to ask?

 

I never thought I was capable of having someone fall in love with me :redface: I'm still shocked.

 

Moving to the new place is coming along, and me and my mate (husband, now! ) are very happy about that!

Feeling a bit lonely here lately, though, it's always been hard for me to feel a part of the so called 'gay' community. Pride was this weekend, but was too busy to go; when I have, again, I always feel pretty much like an outsider. Everyone seems seems so preppy of beefy or whatever else, and I just don't feel at home. For a festival celebrating diversity, it's amazing how many guys are all dressed the same, or in a few 'accepted, normative 'gay' ways.

There don't seem to be many punk/alternative gay sorts; they still seem to mostly fall into the various stereotypes, like on TV shows. And I hate TV, for the the most part. You don't see all that much individuality and originality, and that makes me sad.

But I have my mate, we've been together 25 years, so I come here to find some sense of general connection, and it's still hard, but I find more people here than IRL, LGBTQ-wise.

 

I really need to stop overeating. Trashed a week's worth of progress in two days. x_x

 

https://youtu.be/4xmckWVPRaI
Somone from my old school tried to bring up my childhood. I blocked him from Facebook. The song represents a stand against bullying

 

Having pancakes tonight since we got maple syrup I'm uch a stereotype :lol:

 

That's why I don't go to Pride. I went last year for the first time and I couldn't really get into it. Just isn't my scene at all.

 

(*hug*)

 

Jacob has been trying really hard to latch onto me lately.

I hate you, Jacob. Go away. Leave me alone.

 

been depressed a lot lately, and despite the fact that this is a forum I think I care too much what people think

so I've been thinking about that for the days I was off this site

sigh, I'm so insecure

 

It's ok. The pain you feel is way too similar to mine. Just know I'll never judge you for anything. Don't feel sad, cookie. (*hug*)

 

thank you.

 

No, I hear ya. Same thing. Pride isn't my thing either. Also got kinda bored going through Castro in San Francisco. I've never ever been big on the club/party scene and sometimes I feel that's too much of what the community's about. But I am pretty content on not being super involved in local community. But Pride isn't everything. Now if there was a nice coffee shop, I could go for that.

 

need. sleep.

 

Just applied to volunteer here at EC. Yikes, that took longer than I thought!