Which Parent Would You Come Out To First?

Well I suppose my mom, because I think she's a bit more open to things like that. But then again, just yesterday I heard her talking about gay people in a sort of cold voice, so I truly have no idea how either of my parents would react. Still, her first. She sides with me easier than my dad, I think.

 

I don't know. Both of my parents have said pretty messed up stuff about gay people, so I'm pretty sure none of them would be ok with it. I'm closer to my mom, but she's a catholic while my dad isn't... meh. I just don't know.

 

Sensitive issues of basically any nature just simply do not seem to get discussed. I'm sure Mum & Dad talk to each other about things but I feel quite excluded when it comes to that. It was only when I had to fill in some legal documents recently that I was made aware of something fairly significant between my parents. Only when they knew I would end up finding out myself, they decided to tell me. As a result, I feel very awkward about talking about my issues too, so I am out to neither of them currently.

I'm hopeful of coming out to them in the next couple of months. I'm planning on telling Mum first and fairly undecided about my Dad. I have a feeling the likelihood is that Mum would have told my Dad before the opportunity to tell him myself arises, to be honest.

Not really sure why I feel more able to tell my Mum. I can't explain it but it's certainly how I feel.

 

I came out to my mom first. Years have passed and I still haven't come out to my dad. With him being the kind of guy who refers to Fiddler on the Roof as "that gay Jew movie" I'm sure my hesitance is understandable. :rolle:

 

My mama was a bit judgmental. I'd have gone to my daddy. He always said that I could come and ask him anything, that there wasn't anything I couldn't tell him. Being an honorable man, I would have taken him at his word.

 

probly my dad but only when i have my own place

 

Honestly, if my Mother wasn't a homophobe, her, but of course when I have my own place.

 

Well it'd be impossible to tell my dad at this point, so my mom? On the other hand, I have no plans on telling her at all really, so...

 

I'm already out to my mother. We haven't discussed it much since I told her but she's overall supportive if a little unsure about how to get her head around it. A by-product of having a parent that grew up in a generation where sexuality was viewed as more fluid and many experimented: she doesn't see heterosexuality as a requirement but also sees non-heterosexuality as fluctuating.

Ultimately I think she will understand it. Even when I tried to explain to her and she was saying things that implied she didn't quite get it, she did verbally acknowledge that me being attracted to females all my life was a different thing than her own experiences with curiosity and experimenting.

In a way I was kind of out to why dad but not really, back when I was in contact with him.
He basically ambushed me with the presumption that I was bisexual but didn't give me much opportunity to clarify otherwise. He'd noticed that I'd made comments about specific women on occasion, then out of the blue one day when others in the house had just left the room, and could've walked in again at any moment, he cornered me and said:

"Am I right in thinking you like women as well as men?" This took me by surprise and I wasn't sure how to phrase my response. At this point I KNEW I liked women, always had done, but was still unsure if I even liked men at all. So my response was:
"Erm..." Which he then interrupted with:
"Are you curious about women?" So I told him:
"Yes I like women..." I was going to elaborate further, but he interrupted me again with the sentence that revealed his true reason behind broaching this subject:
"Would you like me to tell everyone?" That's when it clicked, he wanted to boast to everyone about what a great job he'd done of sussing me out to make himself look clever, no other reason.
"No. I'd rather just keep it between us for now." I told him. He looked disappointed but agreed. I didn't see the point in clarifying it further. I believe he did tell others about it anyway, at the very least his wife judging from the way she gave me a funny look a couple of weeks later when her and a friend where talking about how 'you can't trust bisexuals.'

Honestly if I ever do have the misfortune of having to talk to him again I wouldn't make a point of filling him in unless the topic comes up, at which point I would tell him very matter-of-factly. He does have some negative attitudes towards lesbians but his response doesn't really concern me either way. I've always made a point not to seek his approval or disapproval in any regard, so I don't see how this would be any different.