What if you found out your partner was Asexual and may not want sex?

Not gonna happen.

 

They would have to be open to a poly-amorous relationship or else it wouldn't work. I want to have sex.

 

I doubt I would mind. I'd be open to having a sexless relationship (there would, however, have to be kissing and cuddling).
I can't guarantee, however, that long-term I would not begin to wish for an open relationship. I don't know whether I'd end up craving sex or not.

 

Erm I wouldn't call someone my partner if I am about to learn they are asexual.

My date or crush maybe but for someone to be my partner, physical contact is a must.

Oh God... that sounds like a nighmare stuff. It would break my heart and his as well. Hopefully persons I will get that close would be open about their sexuality. I don't want to hurt anyone.

 

As someone who identifies somewhere along the asexual spectrum, I would probably be somewhat relieved if my boyfriend was not terribly interested in sex.

In the case where the scenario is flipped (he's interested in sex more than I am), I feel like compromise would be key. While I an not very enthused about sex, neither am I absolutely opposed to it. This hypothetical boyfriend and I would hopefully meet at some middle ground where our sex life is at a pace that is acceptable for both of us. Being a completely monogamous person, I could not handle him sleeping with other people so an open relationship would be out of the question anyway.

And just for the record:
Cuddling > Sex

 

I could give up sex for someone who's absolutely exceptional. There's so many things that are more important than sex, yet.. for me, an open relationship would probably be ideal, in that situation

 

Well if I'm in love with them I think I can manage as long as we are together holding hands and cuddle. I already have a loveless law sex life, so it doesn't matter.

 

Dont even know a sex

 

Depends on the context.

I'd like to think, if I were getting to know somebody, that somewhere along the way, this tidbit would be brought to light. At that point, depending on how long the dating phase has been going, we'd make some kind of decision appropriate to then.

If this happened over a period of time, again, I'd want to know. Hell, I'd probably notice the differences and degrees. This would be a little trickier, but again, I like to think it could be discussed and, once more, an appropriate decision is made.

Now, if we had been together for quite a while (5+ years), and this cropped up. Well... there's going to be some questions, but nothing malicious. I'd be slightly frustrated that this was kept from me, because a relationship should function on trust and communication. This would be the most tricky, because you have a lot of time invested, and nobody just wants to throw that away.

In theory, I have no problem with asexual folks. I've gone 28 years without sex, what's another 28? Hell, what's my entire life? Of course, I'd like to have sex, but it's harder to miss something you've never had -- it's only hard to want it, but never get it. So, I could be with somebody like that... but I'm getting my cuddles and kisses, damn it!

In practice, there'd be moments where the curiosity and the urge were stronger, and this would have to be addressed. Not so much for the desire, but because I value trust and communication. I'd want to display trust by sharing this concern, and talking about it, which would allow us to, obviously, communicate. I'd have some better moments than others, but I could manage, if I was really feeling this individual.

 

That is a bit of a pickle. I don't think I'd progress to falling in love with someone without having testing our sexual compatibility first.
That's not to imply that asexuality is a deal-breaker for me but my hypothetical partner and I would definitely have to be considerate of each others sexual/asexual needs.

 

Is a relationship based on sex? No. There's much more to it than that.

However, I'd feel it was more of a friendship at some point only with occasional kissing. Not that there's anything wrong with a relationship like that! In fact it sounds adorable. Honestly though I don't want to look outside of a relationship for sex because its not fair to my partner as I'd kinda get to have my cake and eat it too. I want to stay loyal and compromise with one person.

I don't think its weird to be asexual... And it may work for me for a little while (as I don't feel jumping into sex with someone is a good idea... Trust me. Tried it once.) As I'm more about the emotional aspects. Looks and sex drives change over the years.

To be perfectly honest though I don't think I could do it long term. I have a very high sex drive and while I can compromise, and emotional compatibility is more important to me, eventually I'm going to want us to get married and after that point I really need that intimacy. Its an emotional and physical thing for me... I want to share with my partner an aspect of our relationship that only we can have together.

If something happened with a long term partner/spouse and our sex drives were vastly different at that point we've been committed awhile so we could work something out... But sadly I just cannot do without or I will be very depressed over it. I want to make my lover feel good emotionally as well as physically and vice versa.

 

Personally, I love sex and I wouldn't knowingly get into a relationship with someone who is repulsed by sex.

Just because one may be repulsed by it, doesn't mean we all are. That being said, I shouldn't have to compromise myself, as a sexual being, and cut off something that's very vital for me and so many others. I need that intimacy & I would not be willing to give it up.

For those who do have a repulsion to sex, I think that It would be best to find other people who want the same things as you. It's like me trying to get with a man who identifies with and strictly practices heterosexuality... It's just not gonna happen.. While I love men, he does not and will not. There's no compatibility, for we both have very different wants and needs & can not fulfill each others desires. Simple is that.

If you're asexual, sex repulsed or whatever. That's all fine and dandy, but you cannot expect people to conform to you just because that's what you want. Just like another sexual being can't expect an asexual to conform to them. No ones' wants and need are more important than the other and you shouldn't have to give up what you believe or how you feel at the expense of your own happiness. A simple fix for that is to find someone who shares the same views as you and not try to force your own views on someone else and expect them to change just because you feel it's right.

Anyway, I may be generalizing, a bit, but that's my opinion on the situation.

 

Hell no.

For me, sex isn't the most important part of a relationship, but it plays a big part in developing a healthy one. Obviously, sex is fun, but it's also about being close with someone and bonding with them.

I think you need that to maintain a relationship.

 

I'm not a sexual person but if I loved that person too much, I'd know how to cope with it.

 

There's a pretty blatant implication with this post, so I don't think it needs a lengthy reply, but I will leave this note:

So...we are pretty much incapable of having a ('proper') relationship then? Sounds like a reasonable thought!

 

I think you missed the part (or just didn't care) where I said "for me," and "I think," meaning it's how I personally feel in any relationship that I am in. Doesn't mean that's the case for everyone.

Get over yourself.

 

"I think you need that to maintain a relationship" is not exactly a very personal statement.

 

Ugh. I knew you'd chime in to correct me, as you often do with many posters.

Let me re-state it: I think sex is needed in any relationship that I am in to maintain a healthy relationship. It's not my place to say whether sex is needed or not to maintain a relationship between other couples.

 

You had a go at someone for responding to something you directly said. The least you could do is actually say what you mean when you want people to understand it as you intended. If you're imprecise and that means you say something you didn't mean, it's not others' fault for interpreting it as exactly what it looks like.

But yes, if it's miscommunication then the clarification is certainly welcome. The snide end is hardly warranted.