Every single member of my family (including my extended family) is homophobic. They will literally just bring up gay people out of nowhere and start saying terrible things about homosexuals. They seemingly constantly say things like "I don't like the homos" or "I'm not homophobic because I'm not AFRAID of them". It really scares me that they have this kind of mentality. I'm afraid if they knew I like girls they wouldn't love me anymore. I hate being in the closet but how could I ever come out knowing that there is a chance that the people who are supposed to love me no matter what, won't be able to stand me? This is killing me. I don't even want to exist anymore. Help.
My family is not as harsh but also somewhat misinformed and homophobic. This is easier said than done but find somebody like a school counselor or a close friend to talk to this about that will not judge you. They can help you figure out what to do. Its best not to come out until you are an adult or in a serious relationship with somebody of the same sex. Until then its best to stay in the closet so that you are safe from potential family danger or being thrown out. I know how hard it is to want to tell your family even though you know they will react harshly but for now its best to come out when it safe.
Sister, I'm deeply saddened that you're in that situation. I know it's terrible to be in the closet, but I want you to be safe. It sounds to me like they are very unsafe, and they wouldn't take the knowledge well. They have no idea how abusive they are being already. Do you have anyone offline who can support you? Any friends who know and care for you? Do they know the situation with your parents? I don't think you should let your family know, but your friends need to know how much fear your family has put into you. ~ Adrienne
The thing about family is you can't choose them, but you can choose your friends. Find people you can confide in and talk to, generally these days no one gives a crap if you're gay. Don't get too caught up worrying about how your family is supposed to love you no matter what, frankly if they have a problem with you just because you're a lesbian then you're a better person than them. And you can always come to the EC to talk, or even just vent.
They sound like horrible disgusting people and I'm sorry you have to put up with shit like that every day, it might be a good idea to research if there are any local support groups close by, or if you have any sympathetic LGBT friends, allies, teachers etc at school you could reach out to that would be great too. If not EC is here to do the best it can to help out but the important thing to know is that you're never truly alone in dealing with this. I agree with the others that coming out to your family is unfortunately a bad idea for the time being as there's no predicting how they might react. I know how difficult it is living in the closet which is why any support you can get away from home is essential. You'll have to endure your family awhile longer which will take strength and fortitude but I know you can make it. Things really will get better as soon as you're able to get away from them, til then stay strong and don't let them get the better of you. (*hug*)
Stand strong, but remember: impotent rebellion is pointless. Try to find a beard, perhaps; then as your life becomes better, move away from your parents and come out - preferrably once you are already someone important. (then again why do I even comment on this)
Same here, except they don't bring up homosexuality often unless it's on the news. I wouldn't expect much in terms of acceptance from them. Just don't let them run your life, live your own life and be with whoever makes you happy.
It must be hard but you I've discovered that a lot of homophobic reaction is based on upbringing and they do not understand it from a gay point of view. Hopefully they will come around and see how awesome gay people are
^This sounds exactly like my family. I think my family would all shun me if they knew. I am scared of coming out for this reason.
I'm terrified of coming out too. My mom goes off on rants at random. Once I brought up Zachary Quinto and she went on a twenty-minute rant about George Takei and how lesbians are ruining America. I've been in a serious relationship for over a year now so it's going to have to happen soon. My advice is to not come out until you're out from under their roof. That way if they take it badly, you have the option to cut ties safely. Have a support system outside of your family of people that you can be yourself with whether that's friends, coworkers, teachers, counselors. I'm sorry that you have to live like that, hiding who you are from the people who should love you unconditionally.
