How did you feel in your hetero relationship?

Hey... I guess I was attracted to my wife to a point... and still am... but I think that its more that I need to have my sexual needs met... and that's what's available. I am very loyal and wouldn't cheat... so I would take what I could get. That being said... it was few and far between... maybe once or twice a month... she always wanted more and I would always say that I just didn't have the drive??? Until very recently when I have actually started to be honest with myself I have always had an attraction to men... but was able to suppress it to a degree... but as I finally start to come out... I realize more and more just how attracted to men I am...

 

I've been married for a long time. I still love him, although it's not as intense as it was at the beginning. He's one of the few people I've been with that I've actually been attracted to, although if it's more of an emotional connection than anything else. My desire to experiment is less than my desire to maintain my relationship, so I'm not going to cheat.

Sex has been an issue with us at times, but our relationship was never based on that, and the issues are not one-sided. After being together for so long it does take more effort to get the fire going. Just the everyday stuff gets in the way of romance, sometimes. It's actually been getting better lately, because we're being more honest and open about our respective ... ummmm ... odd desires.

 

My husband and I are very happy in our relationship. I had a "relationship" with my best girl friend in HS, which my husband knew about - we've been dating that long, and I've been attracted to other women, but never acted on it. That said, as I came in the last few months to realize that I was bi (rather than "curious" as I'd kind of thought of myself) I realized that something is missing from our relationship. My husband was kind of shocked I was upset about my attraction, as I guess he had accepted that I was bi when I hadn't really thought of myself that way.

I've also decided that I'm not a cheater, and I'm not interested in jeopardizing our happiness or our family to try something on a whim. I figure all relationships are missing something; mine only has half the genitalia I might like to experience. OK - that's kind of crass, but it's true.

My best friend / trigger to this realization and I aren't meant for each other anyway (for a LOT of reasons), so it's not like I'd leave him for her even if I were willing to leave him.

Anyway, long story short, we are happy, have a lot of good sex, have some really great sex sometimes, and occasionally I wish I could play with girl parts. I'm willing not to go after that experience, because I love him and the life we have together. I look at it like my signature...

 

I forced attraction. Closed my eyes and imagined being anywhere but there.

 

Yes, and my ex wife and Ihad two children together. Unfortunately it didn't last, but that had nothing to do with me being bi. We are still friends.

Happy days

 

I was never married and my only relationship wasn't super long. He was a friend for much longer than he was my boyfriend, and I was strongly emotionally attracted to him. I wasn't physically/sexually attracted, though. I was really happy when we got together and things were great at first, aside from the ("little") issue of physical intimacy, which was difficult for me, but he was very understanding and patient. At the time I thought I just had "intimacy issues." We broke up for entirely other reasons. I was the one that broke it off and I was still devastated. It's only years later now that I realize even though I loved him there was definitely a core element missing to our relationship.

 

well im a bit different than the suggestion in the OP. i was attracted to / in love with my wife. the past 10 years things went off the rails and the attraction went away, and the past year the love is gone completely, and we split because of non LGBT issues. i am coming out slowly, well documented on this site, and that process only started this past spring while i split from the ex in june of '13. but i have seen more than a few hot guys since i've come out to myself.

 

When I first met my husband I had no thoughts whatsoever I wasn't straight. I had only had boyfriends before with no inclination towards women. We were sexually compatible. We were good together. But my first memory of something not quite right was thinking i need to do this sex thing with him if I want another baby, 19 years ago. And I did. Since then I've tried to avoid being intimate with him, puting it down to a low sex drive or basically not liking sex. The emotional connection has waned over the years too. However, over the past few years I have been aware of being attracted to women and looking more than I would expect to. Then I met a woman who has totally consumed my thoughts for the past 10 months, totally blown my mind, and the question has been answered. Nothing has happened between us but now I know why I avoid being intimate with my husband. I'm with the wrong gender. I've discovered i need a strong emotional contact with someone to be attracted to them.

 

For me I was attracted to my wife due to our friendship but not sexually. It may not make sense but that pretty much how it was. Possibly, maybe... subconsciously I thought if I had to live up to my "expectations" it might as well be with a friend. When we got married 90% of my sex life had been gay... so for real I had no clue why I got married other than that's what good boys do.

We haven't slept together since 2002 (literally and figuratively) so we're pretty much room mates but as I said we are still friends. When I came out to her in 2010 she said "things make more sense now" and they do for me as well. With that being said, I love her and would die for her as we've been married since 1978. We have raised children together, lived through one of their deaths and now enjoy our grand kids.

Sorry for my ramblings but it's what is in my head/heart right now.

 

I've only had one relationship and a lot was lacking. I found him aesthetically attractive, and I thought that was what one was meant to feel. But when he wanted intimacy, even just kissing, I couldn't do it. My body screamed no. Everything about him suddenly seemed unattractive even though he wasn't. Like others I thought I had intimacy issues or body issues.

 

I loved my wife and was attracted to her but even in the best times of marriage I felt a sense of loneliness, felt that something was missing.

 

I was not attracted to him, but I married him because it was easier than coming out to my family.. Which was a bad idea, but I thought I could live with that decision, but I realized after a few years that I was wrong.

 

Well, I thought I was attracted, but we were friends for like nearly two years first. I kinda thought I just had a low sex drive. I also kinda thought I might be bi, but mostly into women. I dunno, I mean, I do think that some women are very pretty. But I noticed that the way my wife and I talked about very pretty women was kinda similar. And once I kinda fully opened myself up to thinking about being with a guy, i started realizing that I didn't really even know what sexual attraction meant before.

 

Stella, I could've written this exactly!!

 

This is a simple version of my feelings. But very much true.