I am having a hard time... those two major rejections by women. The one in Illinois who assured me there were "very few deal breakers" before I spent $888 to fly out there and who threw up a big granite wall once I arrived. Then the one locally, the one I chose because I bet that she wouldn't reject me. The one who "popped my cherry." She went out to move her truck halfway through our third date and never came back. What is with these lesbians? Bitches be crazy. Or worse... is it me? Do I reek of desperation? Am I too fat? Too old? Too... what??? I just spent the night cruising ******* and I can't find anyone who's a good match for me. I've been to a lot of lesbian single events lately, even some that I myself organized, and no luck. I'm supposed to meet someone in Eastern WA next Friday, yet I found this posted on her FB page today: "I met an Amazing woman today, and I look forward to getting to know her better!!! Life is so Crazy!!!" Well it ain't me she's talking about. This is the one who assured me she would never pull something like what the truck lady pulled. Should I just give up altogether? Swear off women? Swear off men? God that seems like a depressing outlook. What would I have to look forward to... a long lonely road, of nothing but loneliness ahead. I thought I was doubling my options. And now it appears that women are as - or more - fucked up and cruel as men are.
(*hug*)Unfortunately I think you have just stumbled upon some not very nice people. There are good people out there don't give up. Just because people are lesbians doesn't mean we will necessarily get on. Just like dating men we have to find the person we connect with. That often means being treated badly by people before we find the right one. I haven't started this dating game yet and reading all these stories is scaring me. However don't give up on the good people they are out there.
About the fb status, you haven't met this lady yet she is probably in the dating scene, she like you is looking for love I wouldn't discount her yet, if she liked you she will make you the one and only, and who's to say what she said was even referred to a date, she could be talk on about her mom for all you know. Chill, there is someone for everyone in the mean time be kind to yourself and appreciate you.
Have you heard the expression the "dating game"? Well, dating is a bit of a game of chance and when you lose it's hard as it involves your feelings and emotions. You can, of course, decide not to play the game again and never subject yourself to the pain of loss, but you'll also never experience the joy of winning either. It sounds like you experienced two painful losses , but that doesn't mean you should give up altogether and dismiss the possibility of dating anyone. Don't let two utter bitches cloud your opinion of all lesbians. I totally get that you are hurting... I've had my fingers burnt playing this game in the past, but try to take something from those experiences and be more cautious next time around. Don't give your heart away easily and be sure about what you want and what you expect. My late Grandmother once told my cousin that you have to spend some time separating the "wheat from the chaff" when you are dating. Never a truer saying. In your case, you've got rid of some useless chaff.
Your story reminds me that Bjork song "I'm so impatient, I can't stand the wait When will I get my cuddle? Who are you? I know by now that you'll arrive By the time I, I stop waiting, I miss you Björk - I Miss You" Funny thing those words are so true for me. Still sorry for your struggle to find love. Hope you find someone to call your own soon. (*hug*)
I wouldnt give up but I wouldnt be as focused on a relationship. As someone who has done a LOT of online dating (not women) I can tell you there are good and bad out there, but people have a propensity to misrepresent themselves grossly online. Its tempting, I think, because some people seem to think "oh if they just meet me they will love me" and its just not always the case. "Then the one locally, the one I chose because I bet that she wouldn't reject me. " Choose women based on who they are, not whether or not they will reject you. One of the dating mantras that sticks out to me is "Be who you are looking for"
I was supposed to be on my way to Illinois tomorrow. Instead I'm frantically trying to clean up and clean out my crap before my friends get home this afternoon. I've been house-sitting for them for 5 months. I have nowhere to go. I'm going to stay at my ex-husband's house while he is out of town for a week or so. I had to get a storage locker. I don't want all of this crap. I want love. I want to be loved.
Men. Women. Just people, some good, some bad, some downright dangerous. You just haven't found the right one yet, and, in my experience, that comes when you're not seeking, only browsing, for someone who might be good enough for you instead of the other way round. Sorry you've met the bad ones, and that you're so alone. I wish you happiness that comes soon.
This. Is. Bullshit. What is wrong with those women?! Should I even call them women? They sound like a bunch of little girls to me! Don't give up.. But definitely keep your guard up at all times.. Only let someone in if you KNOW they wont disappoint you. Sorry you're having a tough time.. Things will get better x
People, in general, are cruel. To add to that, we live in a society where dispensability is encouraged. I feel your pain. I really do. BTDT. There are hazards in dealing with qualities seemingly specific to men and there are hazards in dealing with qualities seemingly specific to women, regardless of their sexual preferences. Why do you think some people swear by pets? And, then, there aren't even enough people around to make homes for these impounded pets who need potential owners. But, I'm on a tangent now, so, back on track, it's just people. If you need to take a hiatus for your self preservation, do that instead of pursuing situations which might disappoint you. Also, consider engaging in activities which interest you and where sexual identity isn't even an issue. In those cases, all sorts of people show up and they generally wouldn't care about sexual orientation, especially out west. That could be a decent tide over for a while. Who knows.
anaisninja: Hi. I certainly understand how you feel, having tried and struck out with several women over the past few months. And, having had my heart badly broken by one. I just wanted to give you some encouragement to keep looking. The thing that I have found in going to women's events and dating online is that even though I haven't met the one, I have met a lot of really nice women, including three with whom I have become friends. Knowing that at least I am meeting other people like me, who understand what I am going through, makes the dating game tolerable. And, who knows, one of my new friends might have a really cute lesbian friend who might just be the one. Good luck!
Hi vivi3, thanks so much. That means a lot, coming from you. Because if I remember correctly you've been in a similar - not identical - situation. So you can relate. That's actually what's been happening, locally. I go to meetups, meet a couple people. Then they invite me to something, and I meet a couple more people. One good thing I've noticed about the local lesbians is that they are pretty friendly and they do like to socialize in group settings. The problems I've been having is with the online dating and LDR situations. It's so easy to get your hopes up that way. Whereas in person, what you see is what you get. It's more immediate so you can really observe how people are in social situations. How they treat waitstaff, how they treat each other. I think that's going to be the only route that will work for me... is going to local events, meeting real people, making acquaintances, some of them will become friends, and maybe - hopefully - if the planets align themselves - one of those will turn into something more. i just don't want to wait 10 fucking years for this to happen. I am 50. I don't have that much time. Chop chop ladies.
I think maybe those two couldn't handle your wonderfulness. It was too intense, all at once. So, group activities where people can share it around and become used to it will be better. You're probably going to have to beat them off with a stick so be prepared.
Better they dip off now, than later on, when things were a tad more serious, and you needed them. I would have put something a little longer and elaborate, but... damn it... all these folks beat me to it. LOL.
Thank you "Really" and Kaiser - and all of you - you're all so kind and awesome. Today is the birthday of the woman I flew 2,500 miles to meet. So it's kind of bittersweet. I'd been hoping to be where she is today, celebrating it with her. Instead, I'm sitting here, trying to finish packing up my stuff before I leave my friend's house. Soon I'll be gone. Then... a big question mark. I'm not sure what the future holds... I'm open to the possibilities.
I'm glad you recognize that the best route is to meet real people in real situations and see where those relationships lead. I think that's the best way to go about it. Being friends first and lovers second certainly worked for my husband and I. I can't help but think that you'll feel better once you have your own place and your own life. Living in someone elses house after your separation would have left you feeling somewhat in limbo - and that's going to come across in your interactions with others.