So I am wondering if strictly visual attraction is a decent enough means/predictor to determine if one is actually sexually attracted to a particular sex, without having any actual sexual experience with that sex? Basically, and in my musings this relates to female individuals, I am very visually attracted to the female form. Boobs and even more so butts, if I must be specific. I often even have a hard time just looking away if that's what's in my view. My issue arises in that when I try to imagine carrying out any sort of physical or sexual act (even just kissing or making out, really) with a person of this sex, especially if I know the individual, I have a very difficult time going about it. The one exception is in (and sorry if this is too explicit) masturbatory fantasies where I'll be able to gets bits and pieces of a female form in my mind - but by the end it generally requires incorporating a guy somehow to finish. Underlying all this is the fact that I do get very emotionally attracted/attached to women with personalities that I like. So, in the end, I'm wondering if there was ever a case where it would be feasible to pursue a relationship - would the visual attraction be enough to assume likely sexual compatibility, or are those cognitive deficits indicative of a lack of sexual attraction? In other words, which wins out? Anyhow, sorry if any of this is scattered or whatnot. I'd really appreciate any thoughts!
I wonder if you find males physically attractive as well? Do you let yourself appreciate them? I chalk a lot of this to socialization. Society sends us messages our whole life that men are supposed to find women attractive. I had crushes on girls growing up, and when I first found porn, seeing them naked was arousing. But I discovered that I liked seeing men naked too, and eventually found that I enjoyed sex with them. But I wouldn't let myself find them attractive or develop feelings for them. But when I finally was in a situation where I could allow myself to do that - it was easy. And now, guys win out every time. There could be 100 beautiful women in a room - but I'll zero in on the 1 hot guy every time. So I'm saying that this might be a situation where you need to allow yourself to think of men in the same way society tells us we're supposed to think about women. See what happens.
Oh no, I actually 100% like, acknowledge, and have fully accepted my attraction to men - emotionally, physically/visually, and sexually. The only individuals I'm left to question my attractions to at present are women, which is why I was only focusing on them in my post. Sorry for not making that clearer, though. Basically, with women, I know there are strong emotional and physical/visual components, but I'm still confused as to my feelings beyond that. Which is why I'm wondering if I am wholly visually attracted, and very much so often emotionally attracted, is it then very likely that sexual compatibility follows? I would be apt to call myself bisexual, but it feels like there is a cognitive block where I am uncomfortable going any further than admiring the female figure, in my mind. This is, again, not to undermine the visual/physical attraction, because unlike in your example I will not single in on the one hot guy - my eyes are everywhere, regardless of one's sex. Obsessively - or as most people would describe it "checking out."
I don't think it does, at least not really. I can find men attractive, but I have no desire to *be* with them, if that makes sense. The emotional bond that would pull me to them is just not strong enough. Physically I don't find them objectionable, but the the outlook and drive of the male persona(not really sure how to say this. My empathic sense of them.) does not spiritually, emotionally or physically satisfy me.
For myself, the man or woman could be do attractive that my eyes are glued to them! But I'm extremely particular in personality. Physical attraction means appearances only. You'll have to get to know the person before you can figure out if your emotionally attracted to them.
So theoretically, if the emotional bond was strong enough, that would work out for you? (Lol, you can tell my bias is that I don't want shut the door on women completely here ). I do have a desire to be with women I am emotionally attracted to, I'm just not sure at all about the sexual component. Frankly, I think I would be in the same position in questioning men if I had never had a sexual experience with one.... I'm just not fond of hook-ups thanks to that experience, so I'm trying to come to a conclusion in this questioning without engaging in that. Hmm, so I take it from this that you would put "staring and unable to look away from attractive figures" in the "sexual attraction" category rather than the "physical attraction" category?
not exactly. An emotional bond is not the same as emotional attraction. I could have sex with them and maybe enjoy it, but it would be more like masturbation for me. There would just be something missing. It would be like eating nothing but rice cakes. Kind of bland and empty even if it would cut the edge of my hunger so to speak.
Ah, apologies, I was equating emotional bond and emotional attraction. So it would seem you have no emotional attraction and no sexual attraction (to men), and a neutral or at the most very slight physical/visual attraction. What would you think if I told you a person has a strong visual/physical attraction and emotional attraction to someone, but isn't sure about the sexual attraction?
