So, feeling sad...

You've been such a steady counsel for me, I wonder if you've set yourself up to expect to be able to help everyone at the expense of yourself. Your career as a teacher was a poiwerful example of how much of yourself you give to the people who come into your life. You've mentioned several time how responsible you feel for your wife's well-being. But please remember there really are limits to what you can do. You can't make your troubles go away any more than you can take away anyone else's.

Yeah, that's really something, coming from the guy who's worked himself into physical nausea over how and when to come out to his wife after knowing her for 19 years, but it is true, even if I'm not living by my own words right now.

So, I'm giving you another hug, for both of us, (*hug*) and. kiss on the forehead to ease your mind. You're doing what you can,the best you can. You are going to get through this.

 

So was your day any better than these past couple of days?.

 

Well at least things were a little bit better and ya a support group is definetly nerve wrecking but I'm sure you'll do fine (*hug*)

 

Sending you a big hug from halfway around the world. Your wife sounds like a great person, please be patient to her as well!

 

Wow. I get it. I thought I was all set... On the road so to speak. Unfortunately that damn road has many unforeseen road blocks. My stbx husband has seemed to reach a stalemate.. At least that's how it feels. He and I have re worked our finances so that he could have his own home... But it needs work. The problem is he is unmotivated to initiate this work. In the meantime, the woman I was in love with has reached her breaking point.. Or we have reached the inevitable end of our relationship. Finally I too feel stalled. I want to tell my kids. My stbx husband and I have prolonged telling them bc the home we bought for him.. Well it needed work. It boardered on scary. I thought it important to tell the kids and have a concrete plan in place, but it has been SLOW. I told my immediate family and closest (ex)friend in May. Not many other people can be told without risk of it getting back to the kids... But I do see some distant shadow from the light at the end of the tunnel. My husband and I are going to tell the kids about the divorce. Then I am going to tell the kids I am gay. It is terrifying and sickening and sad and optimistic and long overdue. I was talking to my cousin today and venting when I heard myself say :"I just want to be gay already!" It seems stupid bc in the conversation with my brother a few hours later I found myself qualifying that a mid life crisis probably wouldn't land me between the legs of a woman. Argh. Sad frustrated scared and more than anything.. Desperately alone. Good luck.

 

Lovetoski- You are NOT alone! (*hug*) i know it seems no one in your life understands . I do. Many here do too.
When I came out all my family and friends were supportive. I know that it is genuine and how much they love me but Know what? In over a year I've gotten less than a handful of calls. No one has called or written re me being gay since I came out. No one has asked about the divorce. If I call yes people are supportive but I feel left behind. I don't fit in anywhere.
I'm caught in the crack between 2 worlds.
I know the house stuff magnifies everything a million times over. My house sale seemed to put the world in slow motion. Legal stuff got delayed months too.
Today is my 1 year anniversary on EC. I am out. I am divorced. Yes it is very very lonely but I am free. I am gay. Its worth the loneliness. I can breathe for the first time in over 3 decades. I am finally me. And I feel blessed to have my EC family. (&&&)
Many hugs- Rose