Hey, I have been feeling really depressed lately, dysphoria is a bitch :icon_sad: and I really want to tell my friends. I want to come out to them but the problem is I feel like they all have their own problems and I don't want to burden them; a few are having relationship issues, one has an eating disorder and another is depressed and cuts (the later two see counsellors) with all these problems I'm worried I will make something worse. I feel it would be selfish. I know I have to tell someone soon because I am become more and more depressed each day. But I know it would be selfish. :icon_sad: I don't know what to do.
You should think about why you want to tell them. Just share it with someone? Or do you want to tell them to address you differently? Or help you with the depression? Then think about what they will be able and willing to give you. If you have high hopes and/or need a lot of help, they may not be able to give that to you because of their own problems. Then try to guess how much this possible "rejection" will hurt you and your friendship. If they are in big troubles themselves, try not to load too much on their shoulders so that you wouldn't be disappointed if they can't be so compassionate as you hoped for. But no, I don't think it's selfish
So, you said that your friends had a lot of your own problems, but dealing with dysphoria and gender identity is also a huge deal. Everyone deal with their own problems. You really can't avoid that. Don't become a hermit because you think your friends don't care or you don't want to burden them. I have done that. My friends were worried for me because they thought I was going to commit suicide. Don't put your friends through that. Probably tell the friends with the more mild problems and leave the friends with the eating disorder and depression for last. Don't overwhelm yourself trying with the harder people without having a few people behind you. When I came out to my friends, I did it slowly. I went around to my closest friends and told them when it was just us. You can personalize to fit each person. It's not selfish to want to share your problems. I do it often enough (*hug*)
It's very important to share your problems, and to remember that they're just as important as everyone elses. It's okay to put yourself first. Maybe find somebody who you don't feel like you would be "burdening", if it would make you more comfortable. Dysphoria is a bitch and you don't have to deal with it by yourself. Your identity and wellbeing is important, and your friends should understand that.
