Ok, so I'm still in the closet and my mom keeps talking about how girls think i'm adorable and stuff like that. She also brings up how she wants me to have a wife. Whenever she talks about how she thinks that I'm like the straightest person ever, it makes me really uncomfortable and kind of depressed. I also don't really want to tell her I'm gay until I get out of high school and living on my own, because my parents are conservative southern baptists. What should I do?
You got the right idea, I think. As hard as it may seem, you'll probably want to wait until you're on your own before you tell them. Not to be too judgmental or anything, but you live in Alabama (according to your public profile), which is already a bad place to be gay, not accounting for conservative parents. You can always get away with dating by simply saying that you haven't found a girl that interests you yet.
As someone who pretended to my parents I was straight until I graduated university, I can tell you its definitely doable, but very cumbersome. I "unwillingly" revealed to the parents who my love interest of the day was and made it change frequently and made them think that my attention changes really quickly. This made them give up hope of me finding a stable girlfriend while I was attending university, and further dissolved their hope of me settling down, and getting married after graduation, and it bought me some time afterwards before I came out.
I'm sorry, I'm am in a similar situation also. The only advice I can give is to either shrug it off or downplay the whole concept of marriage. I can get away with being a smart mouth so I just joke about it because both my siblings are married and I just say I don't want to be like them. Granted it is a lie because I am actually jealous of them for finding someone, but it is really all I can do because I am buried in the closet. This may not be the best advice to follow but it is all I can offer
I was in the same situation as you as a teenager. It even got to the point that I avoided being alone with my mom, just so she would't ask me about girls. She stopped when I came out to both my parents, but since you are at a place where you can't right now, my advice would be doing something like what I used to do. I am a straight A student, so I usually got away with saying that I was focusing on my studies and didn't have interest nor time for a girlfriend. I hope this little piece of advice helps.
Hmmmmmmmm. When we look at "she brings up how she wants me to have a wife" and "she thinks I'm the straghtest person ever" and "she says how girls think I'm adorable".... my guess is that she suspects something is up. A typical mother of a straight son wouldn't feel the need to make such comments, so you are probably putting off some sort of vibe that's making her suspect. She may not admit that to herself right off, but most moms know, they just have a sixth sense. Now... whether you should come out and tell her is something different entirely, but my guess is that she's in the process of coming to terms with what she suspects, but desperately hopes isn't the case. So it may be that if you choose to wait a while, she will already have worked it through in her head and it won't be such a big deal.
Chip beat me to it. My mother did the same exact thing. Even after I came out to her the first time (long story), she kept telling me how she couldn't wait until I got married and found a wife. Then after I came out the first time, she'd pause and say.... "or whatever." After I came out the second time, she claims she suspected since I was like eight years old. She wouldn't really go into details aside to say it was a mother thing. I think we worked through some of our issues in that area. More important than coming out to your parents is first growing comfortable and secure with yourself. This way when you do eventually come out to them you'll be more capable of dealing with them and their emotions. Hopefully it'll be positive and accepting, and if your mother is already suspecting - like Chip said - she might already be working through it. Growing up in a community that is largely Southern Baptist, and in a family (and active extended family) that is also mostly Southern Baptist, trust me when I say I definitely feel your pain.
If she actually uses the words "I think you are the straightest person ever" she probably already suspects and is trying to push you away from what she suspects. I mean, most parents don't feel the need to prop up their child's straightness.
My mother kind of implies that she thinks i'm straight, but she has never actually said " I think your the straightest person in the world" if that makes sense. The problem is she would be so dissapointed if she knew that I'm gay because she thinks that because I have a lot of female friends that i'm straight. I am seriously considering not even coming out to my parents, because they would be sooo upset. Even when I act like im not into women she still doesen't understand. Earlier this week, I was at the pool talking to one of my friends and she's all like "you should ask her out" and I told her that were just friends and I'm not into her she still didn't get it. She would be absolutely devastated if she knew im gay because she says its against the bible and stuff.
Like I said, I think she knows... or strongly suspects... I'm sure she'll be disappointed for a while. But then you'll find some fabulous boyfriend, and she'll have TWO sons instead of a son and a daughter in law, and she'll be fine
