Science made Stupid

All the postmen of the universe gathered together in a galactic ritual to make the biggest pot of soup never created. Due to the spherical container housing the soup and a passing Gabe Newell, the soup fell out, crusted over, hardened and became earth.

Mr. Blobby signed a deal in which Earth would house a new sub-class of humanoids. In the planning and designing stages, possible errors were highlighted in the new sub-classes' ability to accept change, due to the long time change took to, well, change.

Postman Pat, or Supreme Emperor High Being Patinborough MMXXVIII as was his nickname, decided that sexuality was one of the more important changes for the new humanoids, and worked on creating a league of super-leaders who would be radically different from other humanoids and would literally lead the way in difference in certain area.

Pondering what the code-name for the 1st Leader would be, he opened a fortune cookie. Inside the inscription read, "I am straight as a circle". His space-cat, from the constellation Calico, passed by and shat in his porridge.

2335416116984653216465165 seconds later, Calico was born....


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What is the answer to this question?

 

What is the answer to this question?

Well if you take an atom bomb, about 4.5 mega ton, detonate it in the middle of the sun, it will cause an phenomenal solar flair, which in turns makes the aurora more brighter. Once the Aurora is brighter, the folks at Alaska as a more greener night sky, by which they can easier find their lost keys.

That is if Alaska fining keys at night was part of the question.

 

The non-existence of a scientific statement in the post above for me to explain leads me to think that the idea is behind the philosophy of the non-existent statement. This calls into question the existence of the entire universe, which cannot be proved save for one thing: I am certain of my own existence, else I would not be able to think such things. Everything else may or may not be created by my imagination.

Litmus paper changes colour depending on pH.

 

That is just paper's mood changing.


What makes lightning?

 

Lightning is made when the sky is all moody and his best bro Earth is all "Hey man, c'mere!"

And the sky's like, "Bro, you know I can't get down there."

And the Earth is like, "Man Sky bro, you need to slam a few cold ones and get your motherfuckin' chill on, y'know?" So the Sky nods his head all sagely and whatnot and gives the Earth a fistbump made of lightning.

And through such a act of celestial bromance, lightning is created. It is, in short, the product of what the Gods would call a "MoThErFuCkIn MiRaClE".

How do breath mints work?

 

Breath mints are put onto the tongue.. They then break into a lot of tiny pieces.. The tiny pieces come to life and sniff out the bad smell.. They work the smell until it's minty fresh..

How do dinosaurs do pliays?(Chrome says I spelled the word wrong... It's the word for the ballet move..)

 

I belive you mean Plié.

A dinosaur was the original creator of the plié, as it bent it's knees to catch it's prey, and other dinosaurs thought this act looked splendid, so they began adding it to dinosaur ballet productions. They worked on how great this could look, until stupid humans came along with their feet that could be placed in any position and so the dinosaurs became extremely jealous. This in turn caused some dinosaurs to kill themselves, and others to go on mass murders, hence the dinosaurs extinction.

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Things fall to the ground.

 

Due to the laws of motion, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So we have to drop our toast in the morning in order for all the planes and birds to be able to actually do the opposite and 'fall' into the sky.

Why is the great answer to life, the universe and everything 42?

 

42 is simply an amazing number. It is the only known solution to an infinite number of mathematical equations. Also, in the Holy Bible which is the foundation of truth for all, the Flying Spaghetti Monster changed 42 strands of spaghetti into 42 meatballs, becoming the Flying Spaghetti and Meatballs Monster.

Guys get periods too.

 

Men do in fact, menstruate. Although most of the only men who get periods are hardcore "Bros". Because their attempts at extreme manliness, nature must restore balance to his internal Yin/Yang. Nature restores some of his feminity by ironically enough menstruation.

Why is The Lion King so awesome?

 

Because the bible tells you so.

Hot water freezes faster than cold water.

 

Water can freeze faster than cold water because that water is an overachiever. Everyone knows that the molecules of warm water move faster than those of cool water, so this means they are more in shape. When they are told via the cold signal to move more slowly and move into formation, they are able to decelerate more quickly and freeze with greater precision.

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Why do prisms refract light?

 

Prisms refract light because the prism is actually a rock that really wants to be a snow-flake, and thus it had to mess with the time-space continuum to make itself more like a snow-flake. In doing so, it bent both space and time, which also bends the light.

Thus Prisms refract light.

Now, why do we not fly into space?

 

We do not fly into space because the only food available in space are Mooncarrots of the family stupidae, which have a natural effect on our nasal cavity, making the body produce vast amounts of the hormone Retardalin, which changes you into an ignorant bigot.
This plant grows suspended in the very highest reaches of the Earths atmosphere, and all of us float up to that layer sometime during infancy. Those that give in to the temptation of the fruit grow up to be bigots, while the rest of us do not. No matter whether we eat a Mooncarrot or not, when the Sun rises we are safely transported back to our beds, the event forgotten. After coming into such close comntact with Mooncarrots, the cells in our bodies are repelled by the Mooncarrots, causing 'gravity'.
Why do we have five toes?