As my time and interest in online 'gay' sites has waned over the years, I can honestly say that 'straight acting' in a profile has always irked me, as it is usually followed by other distastful superficial remarks which quickly reveals the character of the 'straight acting' homo in question. "Str8 acting. No fats. No Femmes. No Asians." seems to populate in succession in such profiles. Its like a formula for 'elite gay self hating douchbaggery' You cannot change or educate them. Just ignore them, and certainly don't tell them they're hot. It only fuels their fire. In my experience, guys employ it as a tactic to get laid the way some guys use "i'm a virgin", yeah, right dude. Sure.... and lucky me I'm the one guy that you decided to give it up to. Thanks. Appreciated. Next please. PS: I am not overweight. I am admittedly moderately effeminate (though I still get hit on by girls and seem to pass as straight in some situations), and I am not Asian, but I do find some Asian men quite striking.
If we as gay people want to change this term then we have to be ourselves. I have met a lot of gay people and 90% have acted feminine. We must realize that "gay" does not mean you like fashion and painting your nails and etc. If you do that's totally cool! Just make sure that's who you truly are and your not just doing it because you think you have to because your gay. When this happens, the term "straight acting" will pass because who can determine what a straight person acyd like when evryone is true to themselves? That also means straight people don't have to live in the stereotype of being manly or in womens case acting feminine. Be yourself! When this happens no one can place lables ---------- Post added 8th Apr 2012 at 08:08 PM ---------- And also there's nothing "straight" about going down on another male. Unless the definition of straight has changed lately
Sigh. I really don't see what the big deal is behind straight acting gay as a phrase. I'd class myself as a straight acting gay (even though that is technically who I am anyway, I can't come across as stereo typically gay unless I tried hard enough and that just isn't worth it ) and I'm not offended by the term in any way whatsoever. Saying the term should be replaced just because a small minority are offended by the paradoxical nature of the phrase is ridiculous.
I think the only sensible meaning of ‘straight-acting’ is a gay person going out of their way to pass as straight.
I feel that truly masculine straight acting gay guys are a tiny minority in the gay community. Far too many gay people say that they aren't feminine when in reality they are. I think most of the gay community has a distorted vIew so they couldn't know what acting straight reality is like. I'd say 97% of the gay guys I meet are too feminine for my interest. It's kinda one of those "I can't blame you for being you, but you can't blame me for hating it" kind of things. I often feel extremely lonely trying to find a chubby Straight acting guy who isn't 20 years older than me.
I always hated that term, the term implies to e, that all masculine gay guys are closeted otherwise they'd act more effeminate, that acting straight is a way of covering up.
It's interesting how much shame "femininity" gets in the gay male community. Like, is being with a MANLY MAN the only way to keep your REAL MACHO card?
I have no problem with feminine gay only the term that implies everyone who's must be feminine and if you're a masculine and gay you're faking it and only "acting straight". Because no one could ever be masculine and be gay.
Acting requires effort. So if you are acting like a straight man, then you are not being natural. It's like you're saying "I have the strong urge to start prancing around to Kylie songs, but I won't because I want people to think I'm straight." Not all gay men do feel the urge to prance around to Kylie songs. I don't. I don't even like Kylie. So I'm not acting straight, I'm just being myself, and if people perceive me as a straight man, that's their perception, I'm not going to go out of my way to give them confirmation. However, while I dislike the description, what I'm really against is the fem vs masc dispute in the gay community. I've seen too many gay men bitching at each other on the internet. The feminine guys are accusing the masculine guys of being closeted and internalized homophobes or whatever its called, and the masculine guys are accusing the feminine guys of setting gay men back 10 or 20 years. It seems that as homosexuality becomes more acceptable to straight people, gay people still need something to feel bitter about, so they end up attacking each other. So while the term straight acting might not be an ideal description for some of us, it seems to work for others, and it's probably best if we let people make up their own mind of how to describe themselves.
Straight-acting is just a crappy term... "Stealth-gay" is much better... The never see us coming until we're right on top of them. Bwhahaha
Just like a number of masc gay guys go out of their way to continuously say that (all) fem gay guys are 'acting' and being over the top, trying to be women, etc.? (Despite said fem guys usually being just as much themselves as the masc guys claim to be) From my personal experience, Kaiser is spot on with her post about fem-shaming. Just like with the last part of your post, you could make the argument that it's like you can't be feminine and be a real man.
I'm not saying shaming feminine gay is right or hating or even saying that it's like you can't be feminine and be a real man". What i'm saying is the term "straight-acting gay" implies (wrongly) that all gay guys who aren't feminine acting are all closet cases, which is wrong. it's kind of the same as saying that all feminine gay are acting that way to stand out, be over the top etc. Neither are right. I have encountered a lot of people who thought i was a closet case because i just be the way i am which is just me being me and not me "acting" masculine. The last part of my post was me being snarky and sarcastic.
My post was more generally speaking(in regards to what you were saying), including the last part, and wasn't directed at you specifically.
I thought straight acting applied to the guys who dated women to actually pretend to be straight. What name does that have, then?
Sometimes us Femmes refer to ourselves as 'Stealth-Lesbians.' You can get a shirt hat even says that! LOL I hate any type of this or that 'acting'. It means you are not being true to you and playing a part, that is not a healthy thing at all.