Getting drunk...

Some advice from someone who drinks a lot:

You're worried about what you're going to say, right? So I would advise you to pace yourself and gauge how you're reacting. So, the best ways to drink slowly:

-Stick to dark/heavy beers. It's tough to drink them fast, especially if you're not that used to beer. Plus, they make you look cool. If they're too disgusting for you, I would suggest light beers, and then coolers. Be mindful though, you need to make sure you sip and not chug
-If you're drinking mixed drinks, for the love of god, mix them yourself. Your friends WILL pour a tonne of alcohol into your drinks if you let them. That is what friends are for.
-Don't do shots. They go down fast, and will get you very drunk.
-Don't just sit down and drink. Most people, I find, don't notice how drunk they really are when they've been sitting down for a while drinking. This is why you will often see someone stand up, grab their head and mutter "holy shit..."

Take it slow, and watch yourself. If you feel you're getting loose and want to say something you know is a bad idea, stop. If your friends give you a hard time, just tell them you feel nauseous and want to take a little break. Most drinkers have been there, and will understand.

Damn, this post made me feel like an alcoholic (though to be fair, the drinking age up here is 18!)

 

if u do blurt a good excuse is, "i was drunk and i was joking dude, are u a fag?"
haha and if he would say yes then u got urself a new good friend lmao

 

Another option could be shandy. That's half beer and half lemonade. It's lighter to drink and of course only contains half the amount of alcohol per glass, but still looks like an alcoholic drink. This is also good with canned beer which can be fairly bad (especially the cheap stuff people bring to parties) as it makes them more drinkable.

 

>>>Everyone needs to have an experience of getting really drunk to learn from, and i've had mine!

Bull. I'm 38, and I still haven't had mine. That's right, kids. The gargoyle has never been drunk. Why not? Well, having seen everybody else do it, it struck me as something I didn't want to do. So I never have.

How? Simple. If I'm going somewhere where there's drinking, I know my limit. What's my limit? ONE. That's right - one. One drink. I choose which drink I'm going to have, have that, and then switch to Diet Coke or water the rest of the night.

A couple other hints. Make your drinks LAST. Don't down them quickly. Sip them slow. Savor them. (Truth in advertisement - I HAVE actually gotten tipsy a couple of times. Each time, I got my one drink first, and was so thirsty, I downed it really quickly. But in each case, I had water right afterwards, and the tipsiness subsided within 15 minutes or so.) Also, stay social. Most drinking happens when the conversation runs down. People start feeling a bit antsy, a bit bored, sip, sip, refill, repeat. Be aware of that. When there's a pause in the conversation, swish your ice around, play with your napkin, have a chip. But DON'T DRINK ANYTHING. That'll make the drinks last, which means fewer of them.

I'm not here to razz on ya, Poly. Most people DO end up having that one really bad night, and hopefully, most people learn from them. But the rest of you - do know that it actually isn't as inevitable as all that.

Lex

 

If you drink, take it slow. Don't get hammered in the first hour, trade off whatever you're drinking with sparkling water (looks like vodka and tonic and you can be holding a drink like everyone else) and don't get drunk before the rest of the room. If you say something, would it be so bad? Your friends might not care... and they might not remember anyway. If you are really concerned you increase your chances of blurting it because it is on your mind, so if you are really worried try not to go past 'buzzed'.

 

Before i got drunk for the first time, i worried about this too. I found that even when i was drunk, i still had the thoughts in my head saying "don't do this" or "don't do that".
My advice is only have one an hour, don't do shots, and don't give in to your friends when they tell you to drink more.

 

>>>...don't give in to your friends when they tell you to drink more.

This is key. I've had friends (and acquaintances, and strangers) do this. "We're all doing shots!" I tell them I'm not drinking, but they insist "We're all doing shots!" When that happens, I shrug. They hand me the shot, I raise it when they raise theirs, and when they start drinking...I just put mine down on the table. "You didn't drink your shot!" I shrug. "I told you - I'm not drinking." It usually doesn't take long for someone to drink it.

I once had met a rather prickish guy at a bar. When he found out I didn't drink, he said "Oh, you ARE drinking tonight." And over the next hour, he proceeded to buy me two mixed drinks, two shots, and a beer. All of which sat on the table untouched. I said, "Dude, you can fill the table up with drinks if you want. But I'm not drinking any of them."

I felt kind of weird about that, but a friend later told me how cool it was. "This guy just liked to get other gay guys to do what he said, get them to go to bed with him, prove that he was 'in control'. Now, when we hear him talking about another new guy in the bar, and he says, 'Oh, he WILL do what I want,' we just say 'Lex didn't', and watch him get really mad."

Lex

 

Yeah like everyone else said not giving in to other people saying "Oh try this" or "Come on you have to drink" is important. Take it from someone who listened to these things when he was 14 and got smashed beyond belief x_X lol.

 

If you worried that anything will happen, just don't drink.

Shit happens when people get drunk.

 

Well anyone who has ever been drunk would likely have some sympathy for your predicament... as will anyone who hasn't but has some basic human decency.

Like a lot of things (most things, really), drinking is best in moderation. There are a lot of "techniques" that have been mentioned here for controlling or avoiding drinking but it basically comes down to be being self-aware and not letting yourself get out of control. Unless someone is forcing the alcohol down your throat, then at least initially, we all have choices to make with a relatively clear head. So if we get shitfaced, we only have ourselves to blame, although there are definitely some people out there who seem to get off on encouraging others to lose control (in a whole variety of ways).

But if he doesn't "have a clue that you're gay" at this point, he's kinda beyond dense. When straight guys get drunk, they might be a bit more huggy with their buddies but I'm pretty sure they don't try to touch them all over and then tell them they love them.

But if he's still cool with you after your drunken groping and liquor-induced confession of undying affection, then chances are he's giving you the benefit of the doubt because he understands you were acting under the influence and you wouldn't normally behave in that manner. So... if you ever tell him you are into guys (while sober), just make sure to let him know you are embarrassed and you deeply regret it if you made him at all uncomfortable.

If you ask me, though, anyone who is all self-righteous about how great they are because they don't drink is just as narcissistic and annoying as those who insist that everyone has to drink or else they're losers. Either way, it's just people playing out control/power fantasies. While it's definitely true that most people's incidence of doing dumb things increases when drunk, and generally increases the more drunk they are, it's hardly like sobriety protects against people doing (or saying, especially) embarrassing and/or stupid things.

Alcohol lessens people's inhibitions. You could argue, then, that those who are pathologically opposed to drinking may have some reason to fear their inner selves and how they may act/what they may say when they're intoxicated. I'm pretty sure that was definitely part of my reasoning when I didn't drink, which makes a lot of sense in that I didn't really drink anything until after I came out.

Another part of it (in my case) was that I was resisting peer pressure. Of course, resisting peer pressure is great--if you're doing it because you really don't want to act the way you're being pressured to. But if people are just resisting peer pressure to enable some sense of moral superiority without actually examining how they really feel about the various issues people get peer pressured over... that's kinda like being a rebel without a cause. "Oh, majority of significant people in my life say 'DO X' so I will NOT 'do X.'" It's like dating someone you're not necessarily that into because your parents don't like them.

In the end, I think it all hinges on your internal understanding of your own decision-making: it's quite different to say "I don't drink because that's not what I'm about" vs. "I don't drink and that makes me better than people who do." Same with sexual decision making, especially about having a lot of partners vs. having only a few. And you can spot the "I'm better than you" people a mile away, let me tell you! :lol:

 

Yeah, just keep telling yourself that, joey.

Don't fret about it, Poly. He seems really cool with the whole thing. It doesn't sound like he's being forgiving simply because he thinks you're straight. He's being forgiving because, well, he's a forgiving guy. So don't worry about it too much. Feel free to apologize in private, and tell him how cool he is.

Lex

 

I never got drunk in my whole life, and never wished to be either. At once I attempted, but I ended up buying one bottle of beer only. And that beer isn't strong. In the end, I ended up being drowsy and slept. :roflmao:

Also, Lex has a good idea of declining extra drinks. If I'm in the outing, I'll just buy lemonade. haha!

 

Hmm...

Yeah. I wouldn't worry about it. Your friend sounds a little moronic. You gave him some glaringly obvious signals that you're gay and he didn't run with them. It seems to me now a days that teen and young adult guys and girls are so frequently and casually behaving in ways that could be perceived as being gay. Two straight girls kiss at parties on a dare, a guy will spank his friend after winning a game of beer pong, guys or girls joking about how they're lesbians/fags with each other, ya da ya da. If you come off as being heterosexual, you can probably just play the entire situation off as you getting carried away with a joke or trying to make your friend purposefully uncomfortable for your amusement.

 

On second thought. As long as this thing isn't a big deal, which I don't think it is, then it's going to blow over in like two or three weeks. If I learned anything in high school and as I still continue to learn in college, as dramatic as being young is, the drama only lasts in brief stints before something more dramatic comes along.

In this event - just let it drop.

 

I started drinking when I was 15 or 16.I'd get smashed falling down drunk because that was the cool thing to do in high school at the time. I was a member of the "elite" jock set football, basket ball.
Of course I was underage at the time, but the kindly janitor at my school would purchase booze for us.He introduced me to fine Catawba wine Called "Old Sailor" which probably cost about $2 a bottle. For the rest of my high school days some people called me "The Old Sailor".
This drinking went on for years.It might have had something to do with being in the closet or just part of general depression but it followed me for most of my life.
It screwed up jobs, relationships and most every aspect of my life.
I've had moments of great success that I've managed to destroy.
I'm still trying to cope with depression.
I haven't had a drink in almost 2 years.

So here's a series of questions From Alcoholics Anonymous to look at .
Maybe someone on this site can be honest with themselves and not go through years of crap.

www.aa.org/lang/en/subpage.cfm?page=71