i’m worried this makes me gay. i masturbate and get hard to exclusively women. but i also masturbate anally (i don’t think of any gender i just like the feeling). i feel like i used to be disgusted by the mere idea of a guy fucking me. now i’m not disgusted but more so anxious/scared. i look at photos of big dicks to see if it’s something i’d like. i can’t tell. but i get this feeling like i can feel it in me. it scares me. if i was straight would i not be completely disgusted by this? if i’m indifferent wouldn’t it mean i may enjoy gay sex? i’m never attracted to these mens faces or bodies really. i don’t masturbate to these images but i’m worried i’m suppressing something. i can’t imagine kissing a man, holding hands, cuddling or any other sexual stuff. also in real life i haven’t been attracted to a man sexually. this is worrying me.
No, I don't think that it makes you gay. I think anything having to do with the anus including anal sex and anal masturbation has been stigmatized by society, when in truth it is just another expression of sexual practices and one that can be pleasurable for anyone of any sexuality.
why am i not disgusted by the idea of having sex with a man though? i’m definitely not EXCITED i’ll say. i don’t want to kiss a man or anything but why am i not completely disgusted?
I don't think you need to be disgusted by the idea to not enjoy it. Maybe it's because you exposed yourself too much on gay sex that it just became natural, and by natural i mean that it isnt new to you, your brain got used to it because of how much you exposed yourself to it I have the same problem if you ask me, when i dont get responses when testing, for example, about doing a bj to a guy, sometimes i dont feel nothing, just bothered, sometimes i do feel disgusted, but it's pretty rare I already asked me the same thing, if i'm not gay, why do i sometimes have sexual responses when testing like arousal or tingles? Maybe both questions have the same answer, too much exposure?
Most straight men aren't revolted by the idea of sex with men, just as most gay men aren't revulsed by the idea of sex with women. It's more like "Meh, that doesn't do anything for me." We've been down this path with you about 10,000 times before. You have OCD and need therapy and likely medication. Please get the services you need. Posting repeated questions like this that go in circles will not help you solve your problem.
Honestly it just sounds like you want anal stuff, maybe get a partner who’s willing to experiment with you!
Sounds like you're sexually submissive. You like being penetrated. If it turns you on way more than the idea of penetrating then you are a sexual Bottom. Sexual practices and attraction are definitely not the same thing. There are girls who like guys like that. Not many though. However it could take you down a more gay path if you continue. I wasn't consciously physically attracted to guys except their cocks initially. Though it was always inside me, my homosexuality was a natural evolution.