Nah, there are many gay men who are very shy and/or introverted. But keep in mind, what you are seeing is a non-representative sample. The guys you are talking to are probably the ones who are inherently inclined to be extroverted. The introverted ones are sitting at home reading books.
I think it's pretty evenly divided but as with any community you hear more from the extroverts, just because they're extroverted. One thing I will say is that it's fairly common for closeted people to feel like they are naturally introverted and to realize after coming out that they were just always uncomfortable before and may be naturally more extroverted than they thought.
There are some who are faking it til they make it. Beneath the extrovert exterior is someone who is shy and rather self conscious. If you meet them in a social situation where they exhibit lots of confidence it may come from a drink or two beforehand. When the bright lights are turned off and sobriety kicks in the social extrovert fades away.
The extroverted people are simply more visible. I know plenty of lgbtq+ people who are very reserved.
I used to think homosexual people are very brave when I was younger. Now I realise it was because being openly gay is a wildly courageous act in some societies. Simply, I was able to see only courageous ones.
I think being gay made me extraverted. It made me care less about how people see me... and it made me see how small some of the details I used to care about really are. I also think, telling people really personal details, made me better at doing that, and it showed me how strong relationships can sometimes form. Not that it's wrong to be introverted. I'm like that around people I share little in common with. I think there's a time and place for being the center of attention. Sometimes it's not always that time.
-screams in INTP and bangs head on the keyboard- Maybe it would be easier if I was extroverted but I can’t even remember how to speak in social conversations.
Well, I only divulge my homosexuality to my close friends (as few as they are) and family. So, no, not really.
Can't say it applies to me. After coming out, and while I did and went into environments (bars, dance clubs, pride events, etc...) that extroverts thrive in for the experience value, I hit my limits as it were, very quickly. I was exhausted afterwards. It isn't easy for an introvert to become more extroverted and for an extrovert to become more introverted. There are habits, traits, and worldviews associated with each personality. Somebody might try to be or feel more extroverted but it doesn't mean that they are actually becoming more so.
This was definitely my experience. I think while in the closet I assumed I was introverted when I was in fact just profoundly uncomfortable. Part of my "extroverted" nature is the desire to share myself with others and have them do the same in return. In the closet that felt dangerous and uncomfortable. Now if just feels natural.
Similar experience here. My social life got so much better after transitioning. I became more outgoing since I feel okay with myself.
You only *notice* the extrovert ones The other 80% are still out there .. but you just don’t see them
I think I'm basically the same, but I haven't been out for that long so I'm not sure if there are major differences yet.
I'm a part of a group that's predominately LGBT (not intentionally so, it just sort of happened). The group is made up of gamers who are almost all introverted (we have a few extroverts but I know a lot more introverts). However, I don't know many gay men, which is unfortunate because I know a gay man and he jokes about me finding him a boyfriend but I don't know any other gay guys (who aren't engaged to each other already anyway) so I don't think that's gonna happen. The group is mainly made out of gay & bisexual women and the occasional straight guy. Personally I'm only a casual gamer myself but I've somehow been adopted into this group.
Like me I hope my social anxiety too gets better once I come out. While I too expect that I might become a little more outgoing after coming out of closet, but still I would be an introverted person.
Coming out won't turn you into an extrovert, but it will take away the shame and lack of worthiness pieces that contribute to making social interaction difficult.